


Midnight Circles

by ReederJoe



Category: Phandom, dan and phil
Genre: 2010!Dan, 2010!Phil, Alternate Universe - High School, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Gen, General fluff, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Supernatural Elements, eventual phan fluff, eventual phan smut, pastel!dan, punk!phil, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:15:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6846634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReederJoe/pseuds/ReederJoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Howell used to spend every summer with his mum in Utah. At 17, he's decided to move there permanently and finish up school in America. He finds it much easier than he thought to make friends, and settles into his new life fairly quickly. <br/>However, there's a mysterious boy who always sits alone, and never talks to anyone. Dan's fascinated from the start, and he's determined to befriend the pale-skinned guy with a ton of piercings and way too much leather. Little does he know, Phil Lester is more mysterious than Dan could ever imagine, and he's about to get sucked into a world he didn't think existed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Americana

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this is an idea I've had for a while. I really really hope you enjoy it!

August 22, 2010

Mum was waiting when I got off the plane, dark hair pulled tight and brown eyes shining. Her hands were slapped over her mouth, tears streaming down her cheeks unobstructed. I smiled when I caught sight of her with the other people waiting for their parties, and lifted a hand to hold down the crown of daisies atop my head as I ran to her. She hugged me to her chest with a death grip, muttering things about my baby boy and finally here and I let it go on for about five minutes before I gently removed her arms from my waist and pushed her away. She held me at arm’s length, looking up and down my body to take in the gray skinny jeans and baby blue jumper I’d put on that morning, eventually resting a hand over the flowers in my hair, saying, “You wore my favourites.”  
“My favourite, too,” I reminded her as we walked to baggage claim. It took a shockingly short amount of time to gather my luggage and soon we were in her silver Escalade and leaving the parking lot. My eyes were glued to the mountains whizzing by as we drove down Spring City’s main street, shops lining both sides and people everywhere. There were a lot of men wearing overalls, but they were walking towards cars similar to mum’s. Girls stood outside the shops in groups of five and six, shamelessly staring at boys strolling past, most of whom had dirt streaks on their t-shirts and baggy jeans. It was a far cry from my own outfit, and I could already feel the spotlight buzzing to life.  
“Less than a thousand people,” mum commented while we waited at one of what seemed to be four intersections. This place wasn’t very big. “Everyone knows everyone else. It’s quite nice.” She reached over with one hand to touch the top of mine where it rested on the console. “I’ve missed you.”  
“Me, too,” I agreed with a smile, and turned my palm over to squeeze her fingers. I’d been in Manchester for most of my life, living with dad and Adrian, spending summers here in Utah for the past seven years. Last year I’d decided I liked the landscape enough to live here year-round, and mum had been thrilled with the idea. I’d always gotten along with her better, anyway.  
After a moment, I pulled my hand away to fix my fringe, looking into the side view mirror to make sure the razor-straight brown locks were perfectly swept to the left side. Mum glanced over and let out a giggle as I checked for fringe gaps, and then the light was green again.  
It took about ten minutes to get to her-our- house; I’d almost forgotten how close to the airport we lived. Two stories, full basement, and my favourite part- two bay windows jutting out at the top, one of which looked into my room. Mum parked beside an unfamiliar black pickup truck and got out before I could ask who it belonged to. I slid out and made my way to the trunk, where she was already pulling out my stuff. I picked up two suitcases and started toward the house.

X X X  
August 23, 2010

“Schedule, book list,” said the receptionist, passing over a stack of papers, “and map.” I took the packet in my hands and looked over the list of classes I’d be taking. It was already exciting, because they had choices over here that hadn’t been available in Manchester. I glanced toward the woman behind the desk- Carrie, her badge said. “Have a great first day, sweetie!” She smiled widely, twirling a finger in her blonde curls, and I returned the smile as I twisted around to leave the room.  
I took one step and smacked right into a boy with lavender coloured hair and thick-rimmed glasses. “Shit,” he yelled as he fell, papers scattering everywhere. I bent down to help him pick them up, and we both apologized at the same time, but he screamed his for some reason.  
“Language, Tyler,” Carrie called out, not even looking up from her computer screen. “And use your indoor voice, please.”  
“Sure thing, Carrie,” Tyler replied, mock-saluting in her direction. He turned back to me with a grin and I handed him the pages I’d picked up. “I’m Tyler Oakley,” he announced in a booming voice, only slightly lower than before. He stuck a hand out and I shook it once, feeling amused.  
“Dan Howell,” I said with a nod. He stepped over and pulled the door open, then gestured for me to go first. I pulled out my class list and looked around, hoping the place wasn’t as confusing as the map made it seem.  
“Hey, you’re in most of my classes,” Tyler exclaimed, looking over my shoulder. “You can walk with me, if you want.” I nodded again, smiling as I put the map away. I’d look less moronic if I didn’t have my nose buried in a piece of paper all day. We came to a break in the short hallway and he turned left, so I followed. “Are you related to Stephanie Howell?” He asked, stopping at a random locker. “Here’s yours, by the way.”  
“She’s my mum,” I told him as I checked the paper for the combination. It took two tries to get it right, but once it was open, I tossed my bag in and pulled a single notebook out. One hand went up to my head on instinct, and I panicked for a moment when I didn’t feel the flowers, but it quickly vanished when I remembered that I’d stowed the crown away in my bag until I knew what kind of people I was dealing with at this school. Pastel jumpers and light skinny jeans were one thing, but wearing flowers on my head might not give me the reputation I was looking for. I’d have to make some friends before I started putting targets on my back.  
“The Dr. Howell is your mom?” Tyler nearly screamed, causing me to drop the notebook. Why was he so fucking loud? He didn’t even notice my surprise as he continued gushing. “She’s probably the most famous person in this shit town. How come I’ve never met you before? She’s been here for years.”  
“I came here for summers,” I explained, half-curious as to why I was just telling him my life-story. This was how you made friends, though, right?  
“I thought I’d recognized your accent,” Tyler said, leading the way again as we walked toward a door at the end of the hallway. He never stopped at a locker of his own, nor did he carry anything besides the paper stack, so I assumed he was either super smart or very lazy. “England, right?”  
I nodded. “Manchester.”  
“There’re a lot of kids here from the UK,” Tyler said cheerfully, pushing the door open. Our first class was biology. I followed him to a lab station in the back corner, right by the window, and took a seat after he plopped down on one of the stools. “But they’re from somewhere else…Rottenstall, I think. And London.” He watched me expectantly for a moment before I took the hint.  
“Just ‘cause they’re from my country doesn’t mean I automatically know them,” I said. He laughed, sounding like a hyena, and pulled a textbook from the pocket shelf underneath the table. I started to say something else, but the door suddenly slammed shut, and then everyone in the classroom (all fifteen of us) were looking toward the front desk where a man with floppy black hair and a thick five-o’clock shadow stood with a briefcase in one hand and a coffee cup in the other. He took a long swig before setting the cup down and reaching up to push his glasses back on his nose.  
“I’m Mark,” he said with a grin, “but the school board says you have to call me Mr. Plier.” He opened up the case to pull out a single sheet of paper before adding, “We have a new student today.” His eyes swept the room and settled on me pretty quick. I tried to look busy, but he still called me out and said, “Come, come. Introduce yourself.”  
Everyone was grinning in my direction as I made my way to the front of the room. They seemed nice enough, but I could just see myself saying the wrong thing and screwing it all up before the first hour was over. “I’m Dan,” I said softly, instinctively pulling my sleeves down to cover my hands. “I used to live in Manchester.” I glanced toward Mr. Plier, who was smiling from ear to ear, and then to the kids sitting at the first row of tables. They appeared genuinely interested in what I had to say, but then again, I was practically a shiny new toy in a room full of toddlers. I remembered acting the exact same way when we got new students at Litton Secondary back in Manchester.  
“I used to come here during the summer,” I continued, feeling slightly more confident. “Stayed with my mum, Dr. Howell. Based on Tyler’s reaction, I’m guessing most of you know her.” I grinned at their responses. Almost everyone nodded their head and let out a tiny gasp. I’d have to talk with her later- she’d never mentioned her celebrity status. “Anyway, I really liked the mountains, so last year I decided to move here permanently.” I shrugged my shoulders after a moment of silence. “That’s pretty much it.”  
I jumped a little when Mr. Plier began applauding. “Wonderful,” he called out. “Great to have you, Dan.” I could already tell I was going to enjoy biology with Mr. Plier.  
As I walked back to my stool, I noticed one boy in the opposite corner, closest to the door. He sat alone at a station with his head one inch from the notebook he was scribbling in. It was hard to tell for sure, but from my position, I could see two earrings, a tiny hoop in one nostril, and a black stud in his lower lip. Jet black hair swept to the right, but falling into his eyes as he leaned over further, and clad in equally dark clothes, most of which appeared to be tight or made of leather. It was a far cry from the dirt-stained t-shirts and ripped jeans I’d seen on everyone else around here. He stood out even more than me.  
“Mr. Plier’s a hoot,” Tyler informed me when I sat down. “He’s probably the coolest teacher here. Last year, he told us he’d dye his hair bright red if we all aced the final, and the last week of school his head looked like it was on fire.” He tapped his pen against the counter as he opened his book up to a random page, and Mr. Plier sat down at his desk but made no move to give us instructions or direction. I looked around again, noticing other students doing the same as Tyler, but a couple of them were looking right back at me with small smiles on their faces. I shifted my attention back to the stranger in the corner- he hadn’t moved an inch.  
“Hey,” I said without turning, nudging Tyler’s side. “Who’s he?” For some reason, I was fascinated by this guy, maybe because he was the only other person I’d seen so far who wasn’t dressed as a farmer. Not that I had anything against farmers.  
“Lester,” Tyler answered in a somewhat strained voice. I waited for more, and when he didn’t say anything else, I had to turn back to face him again. He was leaned over the counter slightly, suddenly looking very interested in his textbook.  
“Does he have a first name?” I pressed, wanting to know more. There was a part of me that wanted to befriend him- he was sitting all alone and nobody in this room seemed particularly interested in him. Another part of me was already imagining things that weren’t very innocent. I’d never tried to hide my sexuality before, and I certainly wouldn’t start now. Besides, I was pretty sure Tyler was gay, anyway, so how could he judge me for being bisexual?  
“Don’t waste your time,” he said, not looking up. “Phil Lester doesn’t talk to us.”  
“What, like, ever?” I asked, eyes widening slightly. I glanced back toward Phil; he was completely oblivious to everything around him. Or maybe he was purposely ignoring everyone. “So you’ve tried talking to him?”  
“Not me,” Tyler admitted with a sigh, tearing his eyes away from the page. “Marzia. You’ll meet her later.” He watched me for a moment, and then opened his mouth again. With another heavy breath, he said, “I get it, he’s hot as fuck (Ah, there it is). Who wouldn’t want to chat him up?” He must come from one of the three families in this town that don’t make a living in the dirt, because he’s never once come to school with a tan, and he wears that getup on a nearly daily basis.” Tyler rambled on, talking about pale skin and leather jackets, but when he said something about eyes I could drown in, I cut him off.  
“I don’t need to hear about your sexual fantasies,” I said, holding a hand up and out. He smacked it away with a loud giggle, and Mr. Plier stood up finally, clapping his hands together once more.  
“Alright, guys,” he started, “Silent study is over, now we can learn.” So that’s what we’d been doing. I snuck one more glance over my shoulder to see if Phil would continue doodling or not, and ended up letting out a tiny squeal when I saw that he was looking straight forward, providing a full view of his eyes as he watched Mr. Plier writing something on the board. Even from here, from all the way across the room, I could see at least two colours- blue and yellow- swirling around. I remembered what Tyler had said a few minutes ago about drowning in them, and snickered lightly to myself. I guess I couldn’t argue with that.

X X X

“This is Dan Howell,” Tyler announced to the group. He’d directed me through the lunch line, and now I was stood before a table full of kids, all watching me with the same admiration I’d seen in biology and then again in maths. “Dan, this is Felix, Marzia, Louise, Troye, and Connor.” He named them off quickly, each one raising their hand as their name was called, and I’d already forgotten them when he pointed to an empty seat between the two girls. They both had curly hair, but one's was chocolaty brown and the other's was blonde with pink tips. I wondered if she and Tyler had done their hair together.  
“I’m Louise,” she offered with a sweet smile, showing off a gap between her two front teeth. It was kind of adorable, to be honest. “I see you’ve found a personal welcome wagon.” She had a thick accent, nearly as posh-sounding as mine.  
“Yeah, he’s…interesting,” I decided with a chuckle. Louise nodded in agreement with wide eyes. “Cool hair, though.”  
“It’ll be different next week,” Louise promised, and I wasn’t even surprised. It sounded exactly like something he’d do, based on what I knew about him so far. She moved a hand to her tray, and I turned my attention to the girl on my other side.  
“How’d you get stuck with this loser?” asked one of the boys in a slight accent- Australian, I thought- before I could say anything. I looked over, laughing when I saw two of them gesturing with confused expressions on their faces, and then I did a double-take because they looked just like each other. Blue eyes and curly hair- the only discernible difference was that one had brown and the other had…lighter brown. I was literally about to ask if they were twins, and then then one who’d spoken turned to the other and planted a kiss on his lips (I decided my question had been answered).  
“Troye, you’re going to get us in trouble again,” the boy with lighter hair scolded. So Troye was the one who’d been talking. I vaguely remembered his name in the lineup. Troye smirked and kissed him again.  
“Nobody gives a shit, babe,” Troye assured him. He jerked his head up and looked around, aha-ing when he found what he’d apparently been looking for. I followed his gaze and slapped a hand over my mouth when I saw two teachers in an alcove, obviously thinking they were hidden from view, kissing lightly. “If Mr. Ligouri and Mr. Kendall can do it, so can we.”  
“They’re the school’s token employee couple,” Tyler explained, jumping into the conversation. “They refuse to admit it, but we all know they’re married.”  
“Neither of them has wedding bands, Tyler.” This came from the girl beside Louise. She tossed her head to the side, smoothing out her dark hair, and slapped someone’s hands away as they reached for her tray. “If you wanted fries, you should’ve gotten them yourself, Felix.” She turned her attention back to me, ignoring Felix’s second attempt. “Of course, they might just take them off while they’re here.”  
“Do they know you dissect them?” I asked with a laugh. Was this place really so boring that all they could do for fun was talk about the relationship status of their teachers?  
“Probably,” Troye’s boyfriend commented- I still didn’t know his name. He must have caught my expression, because he smiled and said, “I’m Connor.”  
“Marzia,” the dark-haired girl piped up, sparking my interest. Tyler’d said that Marzia was the only one of their group to talk to Phil. I’d have to pull her aside later and ask about that. She patted the guy beside her, the one who kept stealing fries. “Felix.”  
“Thanks,” I told her. They’d probably have to introduce themselves a million times before I remembered.  
“Dan saw Phil today,” Tyler began suddenly. “He’s already obsessed.”  
“I’m not obsessed,” I replied too defensively. Even if it wasn’t true, they wouldn’t believe it. Sure enough, the whole table giggled.  
“It’s okay,” Tyler assured me. “He’s hot. Worth it.”  
“You literally told me the exact opposite this morning.”  
“When it comes to friendship and-or sex, yeah,” Tyler agreed. “But it’s definitely worth your time to stare at him when you can.”  
“You’re such a whore,” Felix accused, sending everyone into another fit of giggles, myself included. It felt nice, considering I’d expected to be sitting alone in a corner today.  
“I don’t deny anything!” Tyler shouted over the noise, sending shockwaves straight to my eardrums. I jumped when I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder.  
“You’re going to like it here,” Louise said, patting my arm. I looked at her and nodded in agreement. Friends on the first day and no mandatory uniforms…I was going to fucking love it here.


	2. Famous?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, enjoy this.

August 24, 2010

“Everyone in that school knows you,” I told mum excitedly as we ate. I’d never gotten the chance to ask her the night before, because she didn’t come home until midnight. I knew where she’d been, even if she wouldn’t admit it, and I’d already tried twice to hint that I was fine with it. I didn’t except her to stay single forever. “Why didn’t you tell me you were famous?”  
“I didn’t know I was, sweetie,” she admitted, reaching for a juice glass. I’d gotten up earlier than usual to fix one of the few things I knew of: pancakes. Everyone loved pancakes. “I assumed everyone hated me, since nobody likes lawyers.” She shrugged a shoulder as she pulled another pancake from the stack.   
“I’ll probably be the most popular guy there because of you,” I continued with a smirk, tapping her arm playfully. She opened her mouth to reply, but the sound of my phone ringing cut her off. She smiled and looked over my shoulder to where it laid on the coffee table. I stood up and walked over to snatch it up right as the tune ended.   
“Hey, babe!” came the screech as soon as I’d pressed the button. I held the phone out an inch to preserve my hearing. “You want a ride to school?”  
“Uh, sure,” I said, glancing toward mum. She’d offered to drive me, but she’d probably get mad if I turned down an offer from my apparent new friend. She watched me with a pleasant smile on her face and sipped her juice.  
“Great, ‘cause I’m outside.” As he said the words, there was an awful screeching sound in the driveway, followed by a blaring horn. “Fucking squirrels,” he muttered, and the call promptly ended.   
I stuck the phone in my pocket and ran upstairs to get my crown for the day- purple roses to match my lilac jumper. Tyler’d get a kick out it if his hair was still lavender. I’d decided that since I managed to befriend half the school on my first day, I’d be okay wearing my flowers in public. I had a feeling Louise would protect me if it came to it.   
“Tyler’s waiting for me,” I told mum when I was back downstairs. She nodded cheerfully and came over to wrap me in a tight hug.  
“He’s a good kid,” she mused, keeping her arms around me until I pulled away. As I moved toward the door, she called out, “Have a great day! I love you!”  
“Love you, too,” I called back, shutting the door behind me and bouncing down the steps. Tyler was talking before I was in the car, yelling out, “Oh, honey, you’re gorgeous!” and reaching out to poke the lavender-coloured roses atop my head.  
“You are never going to believe what happened,” he rambled as he backed out and started down the road. One hand began flailing around to emphasize his point, and he glanced over when I didn’t immediately answer. “Well, you might know. It involves your mom.”  
“This better not be a ‘your mum’ joke, I swear”-  
“It’s not!” I jammed a finger into one ear as he screamed, glaring at him even though he was staring at the road now. “You know how your mom’s the CEO of Triple L?” I stared at him. Of fucking course I knew that?   
“I’ve heard a rumor or two.”  
He glared at me for a moment before saying, “Well, Zoe Sugg just got hired on as your mom’s new intern.”  
I honestly didn’t know how he expected me to react. I had no idea who that person was! I finally settled for a sarcastic, “Okay?” and waited for him to explain the significance and reasoning behind his excitement.  
“She’s Phil’s cousin, dumbass,” Tyler retorted with a huff, as if I was supposed to know that. He seemed to realize his mistake a half second later and looked over again. “But yeah, I figured you’d be interested in that.”  
We pulled into the school parking lot before I replied, asking, “How do you figure?” as we got out of the car. “Mum’s not gonna tell me anything.”  
“It could be your excuse to talk to Phil,” Tyler insisted as we made our way to the door. When he finally noticed my incredulous look, he raised his hands in defense. “I’m just trying to help you get laid.”  
“You need to get laid,” Felix called out before I could respond. He stood by his locker- I assumed- but ran over to us once we were inside. Marzia was right behind him, smiling widely. Something occurred to me then, and I turned to face Tyler as he shoved his books in his locker.  
“How’d you even know about Zoe?” I asked. He shrugged, still bent over.  
“I may have been cyberstalking,” he said casually, rising back up with nothing in his hands. So he’d be going to class with no books again, apparently. “I’m surprised you didn’t know already.”  
“Know what?” Marzia asked innocently, clearly unaware of the shitstorm brewing.  
“Zoe Sugg is Dr. Howell’s new intern.” To my surprise, this came from Felix and not Tyler, and I gaped at him open-mouthed. “It’s all over Twitter,” he explained upon noticing my expression. “Liberty London Lawfirm is probably the most important company in the state.” He paused long enough to laugh loudly, and then said, “But you already knew that, right?”  
I snatched my bag off the floor and pushed past the little group. “Let’s go,” I called over my shoulder, hoping they’d get lost in the crowd. Marzia caught up to me a few seconds later, brushing up against my shoulder. “Tyler said he told you about Phil and me,” she whispered, glancing back at Felix. He was laughing at something Tyler’d said, both of them grinning like idiots. She looked back to me.   
“He said you talked to him before,” I mentioned, arching one eyebrow. The movement made the crown shift, tickling my forehead, and I let out an involuntary giggle.   
“We did more than talk,” she said with a smirk. She looked around a third time before taking my hand and leading me to an alcove at the end of the hall. “When I was a freshman, Phil hadn’t moved to Spring City yet. He started coming here the next year, and I was just like you. Totally obsessed. I was more than a little excited when he asked me to prom that year.”  
I nearly choked on my own spit. When Tyler had said Marzia talked to Phil, I thought she’d tried to be his friend and got shot down miserably. “He definitely did not mention that part,” I told her, shaking my head. “I thought you literally tried to talk to him and he shooed you away or something.”  
“Oh, it still ended horribly,” she promised. “He ended up telling me he was gay in the middle of the dance floor while we slow danced to some stupid remix of Adele.” She let her words sink in- I couldn’t help feeling a surge of happiness- and then continued. “Turns out he dated me as a cover-up, and he hasn’t spoken a word to me since.” I could see Felix and Tyler walking toward us, now joined by Troye and Connor. “I mean, he’s not a bad guy, despite that ridiculous get up. I think he’s afraid.”  
“Afraid of what?”  
“Most of this town is conservative, you know,” she reminded me. Like I could forget that. I was lucky mum cared more about me than her reputation, or I’d have been banned from dressing the way I did. “Maybe it’s all an act. Maybe he’s really just a big ball of squish and that punk attitude is the only way people take him seriously.”

X X X  
August 31, 2010

“You’ll be working in pairs for this project,” Mrs. Burr announced, walking around the room. She passed out different sheets of paper, each one containing four choices. “I know it’s only the second week, but you guys are going to have all semester for this, and I expect only the best from my star students.” She stopped at her desk in the front, watching us with warm chocolaty eyes and chestnut hair pulled back in some kind of half-up-half-down ponytail. “I’ll even let you pick your own partner,” she continued, waving her hands around, “so off you go.”  
I looked around, panicking slightly, because this was the one class I didn’t share with any of the people I’d made friends with. I watched my classmates scramble around, calling out to each other, and suddenly there were only two people left alone (I don’t even need to say it, do I?).  
“Oh dear,” Mrs. Burr fretted, holding a palm over her cheek. Phil kept his head buried in his notebook, blatantly ignoring everyone around him. He didn’t look up until she was calling his name, and then he was giving her the sweetest expression I’d ever seen on a person. I knew it was his attempt to get out of the group thing. I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if it worked. “Phil, honey, I know you’re used to doing these things on your own, but now we’d got an even number in the class.”  
“Oh, I’m sure he’d rather work alone.” These were the first words I’d heard him speak- there was a Northern lilt to his British accent, and I’d guess he came from somewhere near Wales. The sound of his voice was delicious, and I was suddenly very happy that he was about to be forced into partnering with me. Mrs. Burr looked to me expectantly, clearly prepared to let us both do individual projects if I was okay with it.  
“Actually,” I piped up, standing for emphasis, “I wouldn’t mind working with you, Phil. I’m still new around here, and it’d be nice to have someone who knows their way around the school.” I smiled triumphantly when Mrs. Burr clapped her hands together. I’d known her long enough now to know I’d won.  
“Excellent,” she exclaimed with a grin. “You two will be perfect together. Poor Phil always has to do all the work himself.” Phil wore a heavy scowl once her back was turned, and his glare could have burnt a hole through my head. I ignored both of these things as I dragged my chair over to his corner, where he his pale knuckles were turning even whiter with the intensity of his grip on the notebook. A few kids looked in our direction, not even trying to hide their surprise, japing each other in the sides and whispering.  
“So this project,” I started, plopping down across from him, “she assigns it every year?” He kept his eyes on the desk before him, refusing to meet my gaze. I sighed and pulled out my own notebook, deciding to make some notes before choosing from the paper. “Okay, so I’m thinking this one’s automatically out,” I said, touching a finger to the first choice, which was to ‘contemporize and perform’ a scene from one of Shakespeare’s plays, “because I can’t act, and I bet you can’t, either.” Still nothing from Lester, who’d picked up his pencil and was now doodling something in the corner of his book. I stuck a hand out and waved it in front of his face, almost feeling tempted to reach out and yank on that stupid nose ring. “Hey, Earth to Phil.” His grip tightened momentarily before releasing entirely and slowly lifting his face to look at me. His tongue was pushing against the inside of his lower lip, making the black stud jut out, and I wondered if it was some kind of nervous habit (I almost snorted at that- what could this guy possibly be nervous about?).  
“Have I done something to make you think we can be friends?” He snapped, glaring again. His eyes widened as he shifted back a bit, waiting for my answer, and his fringe dipped down, half-covering one eye. He crossed his arms over his chest, and I couldn’t help but notice the way his leather jacket strained ever so slightly over his broad shoulders. I found myself staring and swallowed the lump in my throat, looking away before he could call me out on it.  
“And here I thought you were just shy,” I muttered under my breath, half-hoping he’d still hear it. A bit louder, I said, “Just trying to be nice.” I turned my attention back to the sheet of paper and pointed to the next option. “This one might be good. Analyzing the suicide scene from Romeo and Juliet, discussing the...psychological elements behind their actions.” I looked up in time to see him shake his head once, apparently discarding that choice. Well, it was something.  
“Did that one last year,” he stated simply. I smiled to myself as I read over the third and fourth choices. Ten-page discussion on Shakespeare’s gender/sexuality roles or a dissection of comedic elements in Shakespeare’s greatest comedies. Wow, Mrs. Burr really liked Shakespeare. “I like this one,” he said a moment later, cutting into my thoughts. His finger was on the third option, the one about gender and sexuality.  
“I like it, too,” I agreed, nodding. I draw a tiny star by the number three and opened my notebook to a blank page. “Looks like we’re finally getting somewhere,” I mused cheerfully, but the celebration was cut short when he jumped up out of his seat. “Class isn’t over yet.”  
“Five more seconds,” he announced, already walking toward the door. I counted to five in my head, and sure enough, the bell rang loud and clear. He was gone before anyone else had even stood up, and I watched the other kids walk out slowly, chatting amongst themselves about when they’d be free to work on projects together. It wasn’t until Mrs. Burr cleared her throat and gestured toward the door that I finally stood up and gathered my things, leaving the room in silence and trying to figure out what exactly had just happened.  
xxxxxxxx  
Tyler, Connor, and Louise were already waiting when I got to our table. Unsurprisingly, they were all three staring at me as I pulled a chair out and sat down, and I knew they’d somehow heard about my project with Phil.  
“You lucky bastard,” Tyler said accusingly, stabbing at a mini corndog with his fork. “The unfairness of this place is absurd.” He stuffed a forkful into his mouth and chewed harshly, scowling heavily, and I looked to Connor for explanation.  
“He on his period or something?” I asked, causing Louise to choke on her milk. She coughed loudly, and I reached hand over to slap her back. It only lasted a few seconds, and then Connor laughed.  
“He’s had the hots for Lester since the day he moved here,” he told me, patting Tyler’s shoulder. “Pining after him for three years now, and you’ve probably said more to the guy in less than two weeks.”  
“Don’t lose hope just yet, Tyler,” I offered. “Pretty sure Phil hates my guts.”  
“He hates everyone,” Tyler retorted with a cackle. “That’s part of his appeal.”  
“Well, you’re more than welcome to it,” I pressed, looking up just in time to see Troye sneaking up behind Connor. He put a finger to his lips and I grinned. “If that’s how he treats people, no wonder nobody wants to talk to him.” I was lying through my teeth, obviously, because Tyler was absolutely right. The whole ‘I’m too good for you’ thing was just making me want to dig deeper.  
“He’s probably- hey!” Connor started, but jumped when he felt Troye’s hands over his eyes. He must have known immediately who it was, because he just sat there and waited for Troye to move. “Babe, are you going to sit down or what?”  
“Or what,” Troye giggled as he dropped down beside Connor. Connor and Tyler both rolled their eyes, and then Troye was wagging his eyebrows in my direction. “Heard about Mrs. Burr’s English project. How’s Tyler taking it?”  
“Not well,” I said at the same time that Tyler wailed, “It’s so unfair!”  
“Oh well, better luck next time.” Troye slapped a hand down on Tyler’s shoulder, and we all burst out laughing, even Tyler. He turned back to Connor then, and I was about to stand up when I felt someone poking my side.  
“Be nice to him,” Louise pleaded, eyes wide. “He could use a friend.”

X X X

“Apparently it’s major news,” I informed mum as we cleaned up the kitchen. “Tyler wouldn’t shut up about it. Even Felix knew.”  
“Of all the things to obsess over,” mum fretted, dumping her dishes into the sink. “Why do they love the firm so much?”  
“Hell if I know,” I said with a laugh, adding two cups to the pile. “Must be because you’re such an amazing lawyer.” I grinned cheekily at her until she turned and noticed me, grabbing a dishtowel to smack my hip.  
“Alright, you little shit,” she warned. “I’ll finish up in here. Get on up to your room.” I started to walk away and remembered the other thing I’d done today.  
“Oh, and guess what?” I called out.  
“What?”  
“I’ve got Phil Lester for a partner in English.” I’d expected her to be happy, since she seemed to like the Lester family. To my surprise, however, the colour drained from her cheeks and she gripped the counter so tight that her knuckles turned white. She stayed that way for almost a minute, effectively freaking me the fuck out, before twisting around to face me with a huge smile plastered on her face. She obviously had not thought I saw her like that.  
“Great,” she enthused, wiping her hands off on the front of her jeans. “He’s smart, just like you.” I stared at her for a moment, wondering if she’d say anything else, or honestly leave it at that, and when the silence answered my question, I turned on my heels and flew up the stairs.   
Everyone had wildly differing opinions on Phil Lester, and I was getting pretty fucking curious about it.


	3. Slightly Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan has a breakthrough with Phil, but not in the way he was hoping. (He's also realizing just how big a donkey Felix is)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of a story is always the hardest.

**September 13, 2010**

Things would be going a lot smoother if I wasn’t partnered with the least friendly person in the school. I’d been trying (and failing) to get Phil to talk to me for more than five seconds at a time, but he was always prepared with one- and two-word answers and only when it was absolutely necessary. I couldn’t even be mad about it because it was my own stupid fault. In fact, I’d exchanged about ten words with Phil this week, and at the present moment, the outlook for this project was bleak.

            I’d just pulled my laptop into bed with me when my phone went off. “Going out, you coming?” the message read, followed by a million smileyface emojis. I didn’t even need caller ID to tell me it was Tyler. I held the phone in both hands, trying to decide if I actually wanted to go out tonight or not. I hadn’t had a chance to see much of Spring City, and all the summers I’d been here had been spent at mum’s work, until last year when I decided I’d kill myself if I had to practice law for the rest of my life. Mum had been pretty supportive, considering her dreams of having a son continue the legacy (her words, not mine).

            “Where are we going?” I finally replied, deciding that homework could wait. Tyler’s response came almost immediately, filled with exclamation marks and capital letters, saying to be ready in five minutes. I stretched out for a moment, and then stood up to find a good flower crown.

            Tyler was already waiting by the time I got downstairs. I called out a goodbye to mum, who was sat in her office by the front door, and promised to be home by midnight- her request. I could see someone else in the car as I made my way toward them, and slid into the backseat before I realized which boyfriend twin it was. I was going to have to figure out a better way to tell them apart.

            “Ever been to the Salty Flower?” Connor asked after we exchanged greetings. He twisted his head around to look at me as Tyler sped down the street, breaking all kinds of traffic laws in his attempt to beat a red light. The name sounded familiar; I scrunched my nose up, trying to remember. “It’s a coffee shop,” he explained with a laugh, apparently noticing my expression. “Like Starbucks, but local. And there’s only one, so we’re kind of exclusive.” He nodded proudly.

            “It’s a _shack_ ,” Tyler protested, glancing over with a smirk. “Don’t get his hopes up.”

            We pulled into a spot near the door and I noticed how empty the place seemed from outside. I’d probably like it here, then. Tyler hopped out and bounced from foot to foot while he waited for Connor and me.

            “Is anyone else coming?” I asked as we made our way inside. Connor held the door for us and a few people called out greetings when the door bell dinged. I didn’t see anyone I recognized, but I didn’t know that many people here yet. I’d done a really bad job of making friends in all the time I’d spent in this town.

            “Marzia might show up,” Connor replied with a shrug, heading straight for a small table in the corner. The walls were rose pink with yellow trim cut into pretty intricate swirls and loops. There were a shit ton of windows, all of them tall and narrow with bright green outlines. The whole place was a wild mix of colours. I pulled a chair out and sat down right as Connor looked in my direction to ask, “You want anything?”

            “I’m not a fan of coffee,” I said, causing Tyler’s eyes to pop open. “But thanks anyway.” Connor smiled and nodded before walking past Tyler- who was currently staring at me like I was insane- and towed him away toward the counter.

            I listened to Tyler trying to be subtle about his obvious flirting, and Connor laughing his ass off at him when the barista turned bright red. Someone tapped on the window behind me, and I twisted around to see Felix pressing his lips to the glass and Marzia smacking his shoulder. I couldn’t help the giggle that slipped out, even though Felix looked pretty stupid, and I turned back to watch them come through the door.

            Wait a minute.

            I jerked my head back, looking toward the opposite corner that had been totally empty a few minutes ago. Now, a familiar figure sat hunched over, leather-clad back to me, broad shoulders stretching the fabric in the most visually pleasing way.

            I was out of my seat and heading his way before Tyler and Connor were back, sitting down across from Phil. This was the second time I’d seen him out in public (I played hard-to-get the first time I saw him and ignored his presence entirely). He sighed loudly after about five seconds and lowered his pen slowly before raising his chin to look at me. “I thought we agreed to work on the project at school.” His eyes drifted back down once the words were out and he began writing again.

            “Why would you automatically assume that’s the only reason I’m over here?” I asked, honestly surprised that he talked to me first, even if it was snappy and emotionless.

            “It’s the only reason I’m okay with,” he snapped, looking up from his book again, pale knuckles white as he gripped his pen. He tried to scowl- and I say try because it didn’t work at all- causing his eyelids to crease, and his blue eyes narrowed in his attempt to look scary. The only thing I could focus on was the kindness in them, no matter how hard he might have been trying to get rid of it. “There’s no need to keep up this façade.”

            “You want to tell me what that means?” I demanded, leaning back in the seat and getting myself comfortable. I’d show him I had no intentions of leaving anytime soon. Things were going to have get better than this if we were going to be partners. He let out a heavy puff of air when I crossed my arms leisurely over my chest. I could see Tyler and Connor had returned to our table across the room, exchanging greetings with Felix and Marzia, and they all watched me with equally amused expressions. Tyler even flashed me a thumbs-up, which didn’t make sense because he was supposed to be pining for this guy, too.

            Phil stood up suddenly, pushing his chair back harshly and snatching his book up. “I think you know what it means,” he practically spit, walking away before I could say anything else. I watched him leave with wide eyes, trying to understand his reasoning (Meaning, I was trying to figure out why he was being such a massive douche). More importantly- and confusing- was the fact that every time he pushed me away, I managed to find a way to dig just a little deeper. He was speaking to me first now- that was an improvement, right? I didn’t know why I was so determined to be his friend (and maybe, possibly more than his friend), but there was something about how his eyes never quite seemed to match the anger or aggression he was trying to convey. He almost looked sad.

            “He looked like he was about to kick your ass,” Connor commented when I joined the three of them again. He held out a cup and said, “It’s strawberry,” when I shook my head. As I sipped the smoothie, I decided I knew what one of the problems was with the people in this town: they didn’t read between the lines. See, when Connor said what he said, Tyler had agreed with him, both of them sure in their assumption that Phil Lester had been nothing but pissed off that I’d even considered breathing the same air as him. Felix and Marzia had been waiting in line, and when they got back to us, Tyler relayed to them what had happened.

            “Shame we missed out,” Felix cackled, grinning from ear to ear. “But on a serious note, all that tension would go away if one of them could just get laid. Preferably by each other.”

            Marzia smacked his shoulder for the second time that day, and I wondered how she put up with him as I muttered, “Nothing serious about that note,” and stood up. Felix just laughed again and turned to Connor and Tyler to say something else. I liked these people, I really did, but I’d reached my limit of Felix’s crap for the day. “See you guys tomorrow,” I said, backing toward the door. Tyler opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by some joke Felix made. They were all laughing like idiots, save for Marzia who gave me an apologetic expression as I pushed through the doorway.

            Outside, I turned left and nearly ran into Phil. He’d had his back turned to me, and jumped forward with a gasp, saying, “Oh, shoot. Sorry!” without turning back to see who it was first. It was the first time I’d ever heard him speak without any inflection of anger or irritation or whatever else he tried to pass off, and when he turned around to see who’d tripped over him, I would have bet money that my expression was just as shocked as his.

            “Sorry,” he repeated in the same tone as before, confusing me further. He was supposed to hate me- and everyone else in the universe- but he actually sounded concerned right now. Still, he turned on his heels and started down the pavement, and I wasted no time in running after him, one hand holding down the ring of lilies in my hair. It was a long shot, but there was always the tiny chance that he’d been waiting out here because he actually did want to talk to me. I mean, he had no idea I’d leave early, nor did he even know which way I’d have gone once I left, but-

            “Hey,” I called out, cutting off my own thoughts. His footsteps halted and he tilted his head slightly before turning to face me, literally glowing under the light of the streetlamp. His tongue pressed against his lip again, and the little black stud jutted out. It honestly looked more like a mole, and I really didn’t understand why he liked it so much. The ring in his nose, however…

            “What do you want?” He demanded, putting on his best defensive expression. I didn’t buy it for a second, because he didn’t have to stop. He could’ve kept walking, completely ignored me, but he didn’t. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and stared me down. I opened my mouth and realized I had no idea what to say next.

            “Nothing,” I said with a shrug. I turned away from him and added under my breath, “Not like you care, anyway.”

            I’d taken five steps before he was beside me. A small part of me had hoped he’d react this way, but it was so uncharacteristically friendly, I didn’t quite believe it was real. What came out of his mouth was even more shocking. “Listen,” he said softly, somehow even nicer than he’d been while apologizing, “I’m sorry.” All I could do was stare up at him and hope he explained himself, because I sure as shit didn’t know what was going on right now.

            “It was my fault,” I offered, knowing he wasn’t talking about the little tripping incident. As I suspected, he shook his head quickly, causing his fringe to fall over his eyes. It took a lot of self-restraint to not reach out and push it back. A small smile tugged at one corner of his lips, making him look…I was tempted to say adorable. It seemed weird to call a guy with multiple piercings on his face adorable, but he somehow made it work.

            “I wasn’t talking about that,” he said, taking one step closer. Even partially hidden by fringe, his eyes were like little endless oceans. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk. You were just trying to be nice, like you said.”

            “Only took you about a month to realize that,” I said somewhat spitefully, placing one hand on my hip. “You’re not as tough as you like people to think.” I tried to make my face look half as scary as his did sometimes, and the smile playing on his lips grew just a tiny bit wider.

            “Who says I’m trying to be tough?” he asked, reaching up with one hand to smooth his hair away, off his face. “People think what they think. I can’t stop them.” He turned abruptly to walk away and I threw myself in front of him. He couldn’t leave now! Not when things were going so well.

            “What’s your deal, then?” I pressed. “Why go through the motions if you honestly don’t care?” I tried to ignore the fluttering of my heart in my chest, brought on by the fact that I hadn’t yet spoken to him for this long in one sitting. A small, paranoid part of me worried he could hear it. My hands fiddled nervously with my flower crown, fingers brushing through the fringe.

            “Who said I didn’t care?” If I hadn’t known better, I’d have sworn I saw a smirk. I blinked, and it was gone, replaced by a sudden expression of sadness, perfectly matching to his next words. “Why do you care so much? Nobody else wants to be my friend.”

            “I’m a nice guy,” I said with a shrug, hoping my surprise wasn’t evident on my face. That didn’t match what I’d been told at all. I was under the impression he was always alone by his own choice. “I do want to be your friend.”

            “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He shook his head. “It might ruin what you’ve got with your friends in there.” He pointed a finger and looked into the window, where Tyler and Marzia were both talking at the same time, Connor and Felix nearly choking with their giggles. I couldn’t hear anything from out here, but I was almost positive they were laughing about something stupid. “So, we’ve gotten this”- he waved his hands in circles between us- “out of our systems, now we can go back to normal, right?”

            “Um?” was all I could think of in reply. That might have been the single most confusing thing he’d said to me since that first conversation.

            “Look,” he continued, all traces of friendliness gone. It’d been replaced with something that was scarily similar to ice. “I’ll be your partner on this stupid project, but only because you literally gave me no choice. We can discuss your little ideas during class time, and I guarantee it’ll be the best paper Mrs. Burr receives, but that doesn’t mean you have to pretend you like me when we’re outside the school.” He twisted around and started walking in one fluid movement, practically running away from me.

            “What makes you think I’m pretending?” I called after him, and he slowed down immediately. I didn’t wait for answer, I just caught up to him and asked again, “Why would I try this hard if it was just some kind of joke?”

            “Please,” he scoffed, crossing his arms. Even in the growing darkness, I could see the pain plainly etched into his face. His eyes were glassy as he uttered, “I’m a joke to everyone else. _I_ don’t even like me.” He paused for a moment, maybe to give me time to let the words sink in. “Why would anyone else like me? Why would you?” He went silent for long enough that I thought he was done, but then he said, “I’m not worth your effort,” and started back down the pavement, moving away and leaving me to stare after him and try unsuccessfully to understand what was actually going on.

 

X X X

            That night, I decided to do some cyberstalking of my own. I waited until mum went to bed- around midnight- and then I crawled into bed with my laptop and typed Phil’s name into the search bar. I don’t think I actually expected anything to come up, so when a list of articles referring to his father, David Lester, came up, I was surprised, to say the least. I clicked the first one and my eyes bulged.

           

_**David Lester, former CEO of Dynamico World Bank, has been found guilty of multiple accounts of embezzlement, fraud, and money laundering, among others.** _

 

            I’d remembered hearing about that story years ago, but I’d forgotten the name of the man until now. I could remember mum tucking me into bed and asking if his own mum was going to punish him for being bad. I’d have never even thought of it if it hadn’t been on the news that day, and mum had been watching it because apparently that company had been affiliated with her law firm. She’d just laughed softly and kissed my forehead, telling me that people make mistakes and he’d learned his lesson. I could also recall the look on her face after she turned my light out, thinking I’d closed my eyes. She’d stared out my window for a moment, eyes wide in wonder. I’d forgotten the whole thing by the time I woke up the next morning, but now it flooded back and I clicked the next link already knowing what it was about.

_**WorldWares Finance Corp. hires former CEO of Dynamico World Bank to executive board, despite backlash.** _

__

            WorldWares Finance was the new company working with Triple L, and I knew mum had been pretty angry when she found out about it. She didn’t trust David Lester one bit, not after what he’d done to Dynamico, and she was convinced he’d destroy WorldWares and Triple L both if he was allowed to stay in that executive chair position. The only problem was that she couldn’t do anything about it, because WorldWares was desperate, and David Lester had been exonerated of the charges almost six months after Dynamico fired him. Turns out, it’d been someone else, and they’d almost gotten away with framing him, but the reputation stuck. A lot of people thought Dr. Lester was a criminal who “got away with it”, and mum was one of them. Now that I thought about it, that explained why she got so weird every time I mentioned working with Phil. She was probably afraid he was the spitting image of his father, both physically and mentally. That explained why nobody wanted to be Phil’s friend or even associate with him unless they were lusting after him.

           The worst part of it all was that Phil obviously believed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so let me know what you think. I do enjoy the feedback!


	4. Daisies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil finally agrees to spend some one-on-one time with Dan, and Dan finds out what Phil is really like when nobody is watching. (Or, the chapter where Tyler and Dan re-create the Biology scene from Twilight)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's homophobia for, like, three seconds.

September 17, 2010

 

            It took a month, but it finally happened on that Friday. I stood at my locker, flanked by Louise and Marzia, with one hand inside and gripping the English textbook I needed. Marzia had been apologizing all week on behalf of Felix, whom I was sure really felt bad about his behaviour. She assured me he meant no harm, and I agreed with a smile as I pulled the book out and slammed the locker door shut. It was a single word, barely audible above the dense noise in the hallway, but I’d heard it a million times.

            “Faggot,” the guy spit, shoving past me. He was bent over slightly so his shoulder rammed into my arm as he passed by, and I stumbled backward a few steps until I was pressed up against the row of lockers, squatting quickly to snatch up the flower crown he’d knocked off my head. I glared at his backside as I stood up, dusting my hands over my khaki-coloured jumper dramatically. Louise and Marzia both watched in disbelief, and Louise took a step in his direction when he’d reached his destination- a group of boys standing near the very door I’d have to enter in five minutes- and ran a hand roughly through his dark hair. The little group shared a laugh and I assumed it was the asswipe saying something funny about his brilliant show of dominance. Louise was taking another step toward them with eyes wide in anger, and Marzia latched onto her arm to keep her from doing something stupid. It was already over; there was no point in making a big deal of it. I’d learned that the hard way a long time ago.

            I was only slightly surprised when the guy looked up and turned back to face me. I assumed he was checking to see how badly he’d hurt my precious ego, but I didn’t expect his eyes to pop open or for him to suddenly avert his gaze and twist his entire body away from us. He disappeared through the doorway a second later and I felt someone’s hand on my arm.

            “Look,” was all Marzia said, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder. I snuck a glance, gasping when I saw Phil standing a few feet behind us, arms over his chest and glaring daggers. I followed his line of sight to the group standing by the door and came to the sudden realization that he must have been the reason for doucheface’s change of heart. I looked back to Phil for a moment, meeting his eyes for a split second before he dropped his arms and stalked off toward the stairwell. I didn’t even try to hide the grin on my face when I turned back to Louise and Marzia.

            “That was interesting,” Louise stated with a smirk, bumping our arms together. “Anthony’s a jerk to everyone, but Phil’s never reacted that way before.”

            “Huh,” I mused, shrugging. “Must’ve been in a good mood today or something.”

            “Must have,” Louise echoed, eyeing me pointedly. She turned abruptly to Marzia and said, “Well, we’d better get to class.” They linked arms and started walking away, and I could hear their excited whispers until they disappeared through the door at the end of the hall. I turned on my heels and made my way to my own class, entering the room right as the bell rang.

             Phil sat in his usual spot, somehow beating me even though I’d watched him go into the stairwell. His lips turned up in a half-smile, leaned back in the seat with his arms crossed casually. I walked over and sat down next to him, and to my surprise, he didn’t make a face or turn away like he’d been doing nearly every other time we’d had this class. I watched him out the corner of my eye as I set my book on the desk- he was watching me, too. He wore an expression I hadn’t yet seen, head tilted slightly as if he were trying to answer a difficult question.

            “Thanks for earlier,” I offered, hoping to start a pleasant conversation. I’d managed to get him to open up a little bit in the past few days, ever since our little spiel at the Salty Flower. I really wanted him to believe me. He nodded once, keeping his eyes on a spot on my face. When he didn’t say anything in return, I sighed softly and turned my attention to the text in front of me.

            “Thanks for the other night,” he whispered after a few minutes of silence. I looked up in shock and opened my mouth to reply just as Mrs. Burr skipped into the room. She walked over to her desk at the front and sat against the edge of it.

            “Today’s a free day,” she announced in a bubbly voice, eliciting a few cheers from the kids sitting closest to her. We’d had more of those than I’d have thought was allowed in this class, but nobody seemed to care either way. Then again, she wasn’t exactly orthodox. We’d spent a few class periods outside, and she’d gotten into two arguments with the principal right in front of us. Phil had said it was normal for her.

           Mrs. Burr clapped her hands together and giggled before going around the side of the desk and plopping down in her chair. She bent over with pen in hand, scribbling almost as furiously as Phil did sometimes. After a quick glance around told me everyone was back to their previous activities, I shifted in my seat so I faced Phil. “I meant what I said, just so you know.”

          “I know,” he replied almost immediately. His tone was softer than usual, and I had to admit that I was pretty confused at the moment. Right about now, he’d either be ignoring me completely or giving me another hateful reason why our friendship would never work. I’d had my eyes on the floor, but when I raised my head I saw that he was already watching me again.

          “What?”

          “What exactly do you want from me?” It was a defensive question, but his tone was anxious and quiet, similar to the tone someone might use if they were being held at gunpoint. He wrung his hands in his lap, visibly nervous. A small part of me wondered what exactly had happened to make him so hesitant to trust me.

          “I want us to be friends,” I told him honestly. Did he really still think it was a joke? I was still processing what he’d told me, about the true agenda with these people. I’d been told he was alone by his own choice, but he’d said otherwise at the coffee shop.

          “I understand that part,” he continued, nodding again. “I want to know why.”

           Well, I could always tell him the obvious- how he was hot as fuck, the things I thought about if I stared at him for too long. Something told me he might not appreciate it very much, though. I got the feeling he was looking for something a bit more sincere. There was also the whole thing with his eyes always giving him away when he was trying to be tough. I’d seen him interacting with some of the teachers, and they all seemed to think he was the greatest. The way he’d apologized when he didn’t know it was me who’d tripped him- that was the first time I’d heard him speak without sounding angry. I was almost positive that this whole bad-ass thing was a cover-up for something else.

            “You’re nice,” I finally decided. “Nice people deserve friends.” I waited until he looked at me before adding, “You said you weren’t worth it, but you are.” I hadn’t had the chance to ask him about it yet, since he shot me down every time, but it’d been four days now and I still had no idea why he felt so much disdain toward himself. My money was on an abusive past, which made me want to throw up.

            “If you knew the whole story, you wouldn’t say that,” Phil argued, leaning forward and reaching one hand out to pat my knee. It was the first physical contact we’d shared, and I was honed in on his fingers as he said, “But you’re sweet for thinking otherwise.”

            “So tell me the whole story,” I suggested, somewhat breathless, still eyeing his hand on me. “And then I’ll say it again.”

            “That’s a definite no,” he said simply, pulling his hand away. I let out an involuntary sigh at the loss of contact. He didn’t seem to notice. “We can be friends, though, if you really want it that bad.”

 

X X X

 

September 20, 2010

 

            I didn’t think anything of it over the weekend. I figured he’d meant that he would stop being such a jerk and let us have a peaceful semester. I thought maybe he’d enjoy talking to me during class time and stop glaring at me for seemingly no reason. My best case scenario was that he’d get it through his stupid head that I really liked him (as a friend and as more) and wanted to spend more time with him.

            So when I got to my locker Monday morning, I was pretty shocked to find Phil Lester pressed against the wall, leaning slightly to the left and arms crossed leisurely over his chest. When my eyes met his, I saw that he was already watching me, and once he knew that I knew, he was smiling. It wasn’t one of those sarcastic half-smiles, either. He looked genuinely happy to see me, and I found myself returning the smile just as widely as I approached my locker, and he stepped to the side just in time for me to reach out to open it.

            “You’re in a good mood this morning,” I commented, tossing my books inside. I’d taken to using Tyler’s method of keeping my Biology stuff in the cubby underneath the countertop, so I didn’t need anything for my first class. Despite the weird formal acceptance of friendship, I hadn’t seen or heard from him all weekend. I was getting to a point where I missed him when we weren’t at school, and I knew I was a goner, whether I wanted to be or not. He didn’t say anything in response, but he stayed by my side when I pushed away from the wall and started toward the classroom door.

            “Do you want to do something?” Phil asked suddenly. I looked over with wide eyes but kept walking. He went on, practically rambling, no trace of that who-gives-a-shit attitude. “That’s what friends do, right? They do…stuff? Together? You said we were friends, so I thought maybe we could”-

            “Yeah, let’s do something later,” I said, cutting him off. He sounded like he had no idea what to do, and the confusion would have been pretty cute if I didn’t know why he was so confused. Did this mean that he seriously had no other friends? Tyler sure seemed interested in his dick, but he couldn’t be bothered to have a decent conversation with him? “We can go to the Salty Flower. I’m guessing you’re not ready to swap houses,” I added the last part with a grin, and felt a surge of pride when he nodded and smiled back. We walked into the classroom together, effectively giving about ten students whiplash as their necks craned sideways. Phil marched to the back of the room and plopped down at his table, and I joined Tyler at ours, purposely ignoring his wide eyes and slack jaw.

            “Alright, alright, alright,” Mr. Plier announced in a booming voice, bounding into the room with a stack of papers in one hand and a small box in the other. Everyone turned their attention to him, and I did a double-take when I saw the bright red strip in his hair. Nobody else seemed surprised, though. “Here it is, guys. I spent two days digging the dirt for these samples.”

            He passed out the papers first, and I saw a lot of blank circles for drawing. Ugh. I hated these things. When Mr. Plier came by a second time with glass slides, I already knew what we’d be doing. He dropped off four of them at our table. “So what’s up with you and Lester?” Tyler started as soon as Mr. Plier walked away.

            “Nothing,” I replied quickly, and his eyes just got wider.

            “No instructions,” Mr. Plier declared loudly. “It’s a free for all.” He reached behind him and held out a small vase. “Whoever gets done first gets to come up here and smash this on the floor. I really hate it.”

            “Won’t we get in trouble for that?” someone called out nervously.

            Mr. Plier looked right at the kid, grinning maniacally. “Not if we don’t get caught.” He smacked a hand down on the tabletop and went to his desk with a wide smile on his face. He’d obviously been looking forward to this assignment.

            “Are you any good at this?” Tyler demanded, bumping my arm with his own. I twisted around to face him; he was already sifting through the slides with an expression of confusion. He held one up to the light and squinted, then sighed and set it back down. “He makes us do this every month. You know he gets these from Nip the Bud?” He stood up to lean over the counter and tugged the microscope over between us. “I bet Marcus and Tom really like Mr. Plier for all the business he gives them.” He paused for about two heartbeats, and then said, “What did you say to Phil this morning? He looked pretty happy. I’ve never seen him happy.”

            “He said he dug these up himself,” I reminded him, ignoring his last comment as he took the first slide and placed it under the lens. He shrugged a shoulder and pushed his glasses up so he could see.

            “He probably did spend the weekend in the dirt,” Tyler agreed, nodding. He opened his mouth once more to ask- I assumed- about Phil, but then thought better of it and snapped his jaw shut again. He pulled the slide off and wrote something down on his own sheet. “Bellis perennis,” he said. I started to ask how he knew the scientific name for daisies, but then I saw the word bank at the bottom of the page.

            “One of my favourites,” I acknowledged, gesturing to the ones on my head. While Tyler decided which slide to view next, I snuck a glance in Phil’s direction. His eyes were glued to the microscope, and even from here I could tell he was almost done. I turned back and took the glass Tyler held out.

            “This one’s hyacinth,” I announced after a moment of inspection. I pulled back a bit and asked, “You wanna check?”

            “Nope. You’re good.” He grinned and reached over for the other two slides. When I looked back a second time, I saw Phil sitting back and opening his notebook. It didn’t surprise me that he was done already. Honestly, I wasn’t even surprised that he was pretending to still be working so he wouldn’t be the one to win the ‘prize’. A few minutes later, Tyler let out a cheer. I glanced over and saw that he’d filled out the rest of the sheet. The last two must have been pretty easy. Nobody else was finished, as far as I could tell.

            “Go smash your vase,” I told him with a pat on the back. Mr. Plier heard us talking and walked over with vase in hand. He gave it to Tyler without even checking our work. “Were you actually serious?” I asked when Tyler held it over his head, because I’d actually thought it was just a joke and the vase was just for show. Everyone else in the room watched us expectantly, save for Phil who was in his usual position, his face so close to the pages that his fringe fell forward to brush against the countertop.

            “ _Opa_!” was his response, and Tyler threw it down. It hit the floor and bounced a few times before rolling under Mr. Plier’s desk. I stared after it, wondering if he’d known it wouldn’t break. “What a letdown,” he pointed out sadly. “Oh well.” He bent down to scoop it up and set it gently on the desk surface. By this point, I was convinced he was most likely insane.

 

X X X

           

            I stood outside the door, waiting anxiously. Phil had ended up skipping English, and I was starting to think he’d end up skipping out on me, too. I’d seen him at lunch in his usual corner, and I’d even gone over to invite him to sit with my other friends and me, but he’d refused. I glanced down at my phone and decided I’d wait ten more minutes. If he didn’t show up by eight, I’d go on home. We hadn’t planned a specific time, anyway.

            “Hey, Dan,” Phil called out, appearing behind me. I jumped half a foot back and let out a yelp. I’d _just_ looked around, and he wasn’t anywhere near me! I took a few deep breaths and turned to face him, noticing right away that his features were much softer than I’d ever seen them before. His eyes were bluer than ever, crinkling lightly in the corners, and he was smiling wide enough to show off tiny dimples in each cheek. Black fringe hung perfectly over his forehead, and it took a lot of self-control to not reach out and fiddle with it. Maybe run my fingers through it as his hand wrapped around my neck, pulling us closer until our lips met…

            I swallowed the lump building in my throat and looked down instead, which turned out to be a mistake, too, because he was wearing more colours than I’d ever seen on him before, yellow plaid over dark skinnies. He was a human bumble bee. His hands went to the first button of his shirt, visibly shaking in what I assumed was anxiety. I racked my brain, trying to think of something to say that would kick start this friendship.

            “Did you know Mr. Plier’s name isn’t really Plier?” Phil blurted out, still fingering the top button and looking down at his feet. His fringe fell forward, and he reached one hand up to smooth it back, creating a quif that I couldn’t help but laugh at. He jerked his head up to look at me when I giggled and added, “It’s Fischbach,” before I could reply to the first half of the statement.

            “There’s no way,” I argued, stepping to the side and opening the door for us. My first instinct had been to laugh and say something like _wow, that’s weird_ or _what made you say something like that?_ but I knew if I’d said either of those things, he’d just shut down again because he thought I was making fun of him. For all I knew, he had some kind of disorder that made him say things he didn’t mean. I was determined for this to work out.

            “Nobody else knows,” he continued, following me to a table in the back. I went ahead and assumed he’d want to be away from the crowds, and the way he smiled softly after glancing over his shoulder told me I was right. He sat down across from me and said, “I only know ‘cause I saw his driver’s license once.”

            “How’d you manage that?”

            “Someone said he didn’t have one, so he whipped it out to prove them wrong.” He began tracing circles into the table top with one finger, and I raised my own fingers to my head to mess with my fringe. I knew it was fine, but I felt like I needed something to do with my hands. “He’s kind of insane, in case you haven’t noticed.” His eyes darted around the room, and I wondered what he was looking for. Did he think someone else was joining us? It’d taken me forever to get him to agree to this, so maybe he was afraid to meet more people so soon.

            “Are you okay?” I asked when he did it a second time. He was pale anyway, but there was something not-healthy about the way his cheeks drained of colour every time he looked around. “Nobody else if coming, if that’s what you’re worried about. I told them I had to study tonight.”

            “I’m fine,” he said too quickly. His eyes fell on a figure standing in the corner and he jumped up suddenly. “Let’s go outside.” He turned on his heels and started for the door without waiting for my answer, so I stood up and ran after him. The stranger he’d noticed watched me with shifting eyes, blonde hair slicked up into a quif. He wore a dumbfounded expression, and for some reason, the first thing I thought of was that he looked like a pineapple.

            I found Phil leaning against the wall under one of the windows, taking deep breaths. I panicked for a moment- was he about to have an anxiety attack? - and rushed over to his side, placing a palm on his back. “Who was that?”

            “Old friend,” he lied, looking away. He rubbed a hand over his chin and stood up straight. “He doesn’t understand that we’re not anymore.” This guy must have done something pretty bad if he’d been kicked out Phil’s life. I made a mental note to ask about it later. He took a few steps back and then turned to face me again. “Listen,” he said, and I tensed up, remembering what he’d said last time he opened with that word. “I’m still not entirely sure why you insist on wasting your time with me.”

            “I’m not wasting my time”-

            “Shush,” he ordered, pressing his palm to my lips. My eyes shot open at the contact, and I focused all my energy on keeping my breathing steady. He pulled his hand away after only a few seconds, but I could still feel the spark he’d left behind. “I wasn’t finished. I don’t know why, but I’m glad you are.”

            “Really?” I squealed, unable to hide my excitement. I tilted my head up to see him properly, and the crown of daisies slipped off and fell to the pavement. He’d crouched down to pick up back up before I even realized it was gone, and then he took it in both hands and placed it back in my hair, fingertips gently brushing over my temples.

            “You should wear this one more often,” he mused quietly. “It suits you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy you guys are enjoying this story! Your comments make my heart happy.


	5. I'm Glad You Like It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil are pretty good friends now, but a new presence might threaten it. (Also, Tyler is such a man-whore, and I love him for it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some smut.(just saying)  
> It's my first smut, so please be nice.

_“You should wear this one more often,” Phil said softly, placing the crown in my hair. His thumbs lingered over my temples, pressing in gently and sending flames over my skin. “It suits you,” He continued breathily, leaning in slightly. His lips were an inch from mine; it would have been nothing to tilt my chin and kiss him. I took a step closer, ready to close that last bit of distance, and felt a hand on my hip holding me in place. I glanced down at his palm slipping under my shirt and back up to his blue eyes watching me with a new expression._

_No words were needed. One hand was sliding over my skin, lifting my shirt up, while the other was gripping my neck and holding me still as his lips moved against mine fluidly. The directness of his actions had shocked me, but now I lifted my own arms to wrap around his waist, where I held on as tight as I could and pulled him closer until our chests were touching. I could feel him against my thigh, half-hard already. I bucked my hips into his groin on instinct, hoping he could feel me, too._

_“Excited, are we?” His lips were on my neck, and as soon as the words were out, he took the lobe of my ear between his teeth and bit down gently, causing us both to groan. He ground his hips into mine again, this time with more force, and wrapped his arm more securely around my waist. Every inch of me was on fire, and I wanted more. One glance into his lust-filled eyes told me he felt the same, and I hitched one leg up around his hips, effectively pressing our cocks together with a delicious friction that was getting me close way too soon._

_“Wait, wait,” I panted, placing a hand on his chest to give myself some breathing room. Whatever bullshit argument I’d been about to give was cut off with a squeak when he slipped his hand down my pants and began stroking my leaking cock._

_“You want me to stop?” he asked innocently, slowing his movements and making me want to scream. I was already close, close enough that I didn’t even care if I came in my pants._

_“N-no,” I gasped out, thrusting into his hand and letting out an involuntary moan when his thumb ghosted over my slit. I hugged myself to him tightly, thigh clenching against his side and arms around his neck. He brought his lips back to my neck as he tightened his grip and started pumping faster, sucking bits of skin into his mouth and leaving a trail of marks across my collarbone. His hand was steady, unrelenting on my dick and I felt the familiar tightening in my abdomen as his free hand cupped my jaw and pulled my lips up to meet his in a rough kiss. A few seconds later, my whole body tensed up and I yelled out, coming harder than I’d ever done with my own hand. He stroked me through my orgasm until I shuddered and groaned as I pushed myself away from him, and he finally removed his hand. He held my gaze and brought his fingers up slowly_

**September 25, 2010**

“Shit,” was the first thing out of my mouth when I opened my eyes. I could already feel the dampness in my boxers, and I sighed internally before tossing the covers aside and dragging my ass out of bed. After cleaning myself up, I found the baby blue jumper that had become my favourite after Phil made a comment that it was a good colour for me. I was thinking about him more and more every day, and I was starting to wonder if there was any possibility that he felt anything similar. He was nice to me- and he wasn’t nice to anyone else, at least not to students. He waited by my locker most mornings and he always had a smile on his face when he saw me. There was obviously no measurement of error where I was concerned, not if those dreams had anything to say about the matter. It didn’t help that I was meeting him tomorrow, by _his_ request (honestly, that should tell me something about his feelings toward me, but I was being purposely pessimistic in case it turned out to be a fluke).

            I walked through the house, realizing after I looked in on mum’s empty room that she’d spent the night with her ‘just a friend’ and wouldn’t be home until late tonight. Well, at least she’d finally decided to let someone else in.

            Tyler was pulling into the driveway as I locked the front door. He was starting to grow on me; I found myself grinning as I made my way to his gray Sedan- really, it was the perfect car for him- and slid into the front seat. “We have to stop by Hayes,” he said casually, pulling onto the main road.

            “What’s Hayes?” I asked, once again feeling like a moron for not knowing what something was in the town I’d practically grown up in. I needed a better attention span.

            Tyler let out a cackle and said, “It’s the pharmacy.” He went serious for a moment, making a face and looking down the street before racing through the intersection and adding, “Hazel Hayes is the owner. Some kind of family thing, I think.”

            “Let me guess,” I offered, holding a hand up. I’d known him long enough to see where this was going. There was no logical reason for the two of us to go to a drug store. “One of the workers is cute and you don’t have his number yet?”

            At the next red light, he leaned into me momentarily and sang, “You know me so well!” He straightened back up right as the light changed back and slammed the gas. I could see the sign for the pharmacy at the end of the street, and I wondered if I knew anyone who worked there. “So how’s Phil?” Tyler asked, just like he did every other time we hung out. “Still pining?”

            “He’s good,” I replied, giving the same response as always. Tyler glanced over as he pulled into the tiny parking lot and I shrugged. He didn’t even know how often we were together, and I wasn’t about to open that can of worms. I shot out of the car as soon as he had it parked, before he could ask more questions.

            A bell _ding_ ed as Tyler pushed the door open and someone called out a “Hello!” from somewhere near the back. I looked in the direction it came from and spotted a head full of tight blonde curls just visible over the shelves between us. Tyler went straight for the counter along the side, lips curling up in a grin and running a hand through his new minty green hair.

            “Hey, Tyler,” said a female voice, the same as before. I watched as she stepped away from her podium-like stage and marched over to greet us. “Caspar’s on the register today. You’re lucky we don’t get much business on weekends.” I shouldn’t have been surprised that she knew exactly why we were here- they’d already proven more than once how well they all knew each other. And here I was, still having yet to meet the guy. Hazel suddenly turned to me and said, “Who’s your friend?”

            More things to be surprised by. I’d gotten used to people recognizing me solely because of my resemblance to mum, and everyone in the universe seemed to know who she was. “Dan Howell,” Tyler announced proudly, slapping a hand down on my shoulder. I caught a glimpse of someone shuffling around behind the front counter.

            “As in, Dr. Howell?” Hazel asked with a smile.

            “That’s the one,” I said cheerfully. I’d never admit it to anyone, but I really did like the positivity everyone associated with her. A lot of people didn’t feel so warmly about lawyers. “I used to come help her out during the summer. Now I’m here for good.”

            “ _The_ Dr. Howell?” exclaimed a new voice, cutting off whatever Hazel had been about to say next. The guy I assumed was Caspar came around the aisle we stood beside and sauntered over, giving a quick wink in my direction as he passed, blue eyes sparkling (they were nice, but not as pretty as Phil’s) and dirty blonde hair styled in a spiky quif that made him look like a fucking pineapple.

            My jaw dropped and I stumbled back a step, nearly knocking over a display of some new ointment. Tyler grabbed my arm before I could topple over, actual concern in his eyes. “Are you okay, sweetie?” Hazel demanded before he could, and Caspar gave the same grin he’d given that night when Phil saw him. He was the one who’d done something bad enough to make Phil hate him, and I’d learned over the course of the past few weeks that Phil didn’t actually hate anyone.

            “Yeah, sweetie,” Caspar echoed, squatting down to pick up a tube that had managed to fall off the shelf. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”

            “He’s fine,” Tyler said quickly, letting out a nervous giggle before releasing his grip on my arm and stepping closer to Caspar. I realized a split second later that this was the guy he’d come to flirt with, and I wanted nothing more than to leave. “He’s pretty clumsy.” I didn’t see a way out of this situation without accusing Caspar and/or making an even bigger fool of myself, so I turned to Hazel while Tyler continued his attempts to eye-fuck Caspar.

            “Are you sure you’re okay?” Hazel asked with a frown, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder. “Maybe you should come sit for a bit.” I nodded immediately and followed her to a door on the back wall. She kept a hand on my arm, probably afraid I was going to pass out or something, and led me to a small room directly behind the door and sat me down in a chair. She walked over to the sink and came back a few seconds later with a glass of water.

            “Thanks,” I told her with a smile, even though it was completely unnecessary. I felt better already now that I was away from him. Phil hadn’t told me yet what the big deal about Caspar was, but it was hard to mistake the look he’d had on his face when he saw him that night at the Salty Flower, a mixture of irritation and fear. Still, I sipped the water, and when I looked up a few seconds later, Hazel was staring at me. “I’m fine,” I assured her, and she finally nodded her head and gave a small smile.

            “Dan, you back here?” I heard Tyler’s voice and tensed right back up, because I knew Caspar was probably right behind him. Hazel called out to him, much to my displeasure, and Tyler burst through the door a moment later with Caspar right on his heels. Tyler rushed over to me, grin stretching over his teeth. I didn’t even need him to tell me he’d asked the guy out, and the thought of it made me feel sick. “Let’s get out of here,” he suggested, maybe because he’d noticed the lack of colour in my cheeks.

            I jumped up, ready to escape, when Caspar suggested, “Let me walk you to your car,” and Tyler was all smiles as they led the way back to the front door. I could feel Hazel’s eyes on my back as she sat there a moment longer, and then stood at the back wall once we were outside. I reached for the door handle, ready to throw it open and jump inside, but then Tyler swore under his breath and muttered something about forgetting his keys, so he ran back inside the pharmacy and left me outside with Caspar. His entire demeanor changed once Tyler was gone, and he slapped a palm on the window, right next to my face.

            “I don’t know what the issue is,” Caspar said in a low voice. “But I know why you just had a panic attack over my mere presence.” He leaned in even closer and I squirmed. “You tell your little boyfriend to stop lying.”

            “He’s not my boyfriend,” was the only response I could muster, and Caspar just laughed heartily, hot breath on my cheeks and making my skin crawl.

            “Of course he’s not,” Caspar retorted, rolling his eyes quite dramatically. “He’s still heartbroken.” Everything in me wanted to scream and ask who broke his heart, but I bit my tongue and waited. One half of me already knew, anyway. Caspar grinned at the sight before him; I could only imagine how stupid I looked with my lips pressed together and eyes shut tight. I felt a hand pat the side of my face and shuddered, but when I opened my eyes a second later, he was already gone.

            “You okay?” Tyler asked, suddenly appearing on the driver’s side door. He had it opened, so I reached out to do my side and realized both my hands were clenched into fists. Luckily he didn’t notice, and I yanked the door open before climbing in. There was nothing in his expression to give away that he’d seen or heard anything that’d just happened.

            “I’m fine,” I assured him, but as we pulled away from the pharmacy, I wondered just how big of a lie it really was.

 

X X X

 

**September 26, 2010**

I’d had no intention of telling Phil about my run-in with Caspar, because I knew it’d either make him super protective or make him want to stay away completely. I wouldn’t have minded the first choice, but there was no way I was letting him walk out of my life now. Not after so much was invested- on my end, anyway.

            However, Phil had approached the Salty Flower with an expression of mixed fear, anger, and concern, and I knew without context that it was most likely because of Caspar. I’d also noticed that he had discarded his leather jacket once again, instead settling on a purple tee with Gengar on the front. What I hadn’t expected was that he’d heard directly from the horse’s mouth.

            “I’m sorry,” Phil said again now, nearly two hours later, reaching out to touch my arm and then yanking his hand back as if my skin were a hot stove-eye. He’d given me a word-for-word account of what I’d been through, and I’d known I couldn’t deny it, so I’d told him it was all true, and he hadn’t denied what Caspar had said. Every time I tried to change the subject, we came right back to this. I would be lying if I said I didn’t like how worried he seemed to be about me.

            “I’m not made of glass, you know,” I reminded him, reaching a hand out since he wasn’t going to. I laid my fingers over the back of his hand. “And it’s fine, anyway. _I’m_ sorry for whatever he did to you. He seems like a real douche.”

            “For so many reasons,” Phil whispered to himself, but I still heard. He looked down at the floor, and when he brought his eyes back to mine, he was wearing a very convincing smile. He flipped his hand over so that our fingers could intertwine- another first for us- and I stared at where our palms were connected, remembering in vivid detail the dream I’d had the night before. “I’m still sorry,” he repeated for the thousandth time. “I don’t want my past to get in the way of our friendship.”

            I couldn’t help but laugh, because he honestly thought one asshole was going to make me stop being nice to him? “In case you haven’t noticed,” I said, lifting our joined hands slightly, “you can’t get rid of me that easily. Caspar can just get over himself.” We were sitting across from each other at the same table he’d been at when I saw him here the first time. It was perfectly secluded behind the staircase leading up to the open…lobby area, I guessed. I wasn’t entirely sure what to call it, but it had a lot of sofas and more windows and tables where people put their laptops. He smiled again, this time for real, and the corners of his eyes crinkled up a bit. It was one of my favourite things about him, now that I’d found out enough to choose. He never did let go of my hand, and I wasn’t about to be the first one to let go.

            “Oh!” he exclaimed suddenly, pulling his hand free in the process. I frowned at the loss as he reached into his bag quickly and pulled out something wrapped in white tissue paper. “I have something for you.” He passed the object over with a grin, appearing happier than I’d ever seen him, and I took it with a smile just as wide. Things were going way better than I’d expected or hoped for. He kept talking as I laid the thing down in front of me; I’d open it when he was finished. “Think of it like a friendship bracelet, I suppose. Do people still do that?”

            “I don’t think so,” I snickered, finally reaching out and lifting one flap of the paper. Whatever it was, it was round and smelled amazing, and my breath hitched in my throat when I lifted the other side and got a full view of the flower crown. I could see yellow, white, and purple right away, and there might have been more colours, but I couldn’t tell. I raised my head to look at him slack-jawed, and he turned red. “Where’d you get this?” I asked.

            “I made it,” he replied in a whisper as the blush spread through his whole face. I hadn’t thought about him being the type to blush so easily. I could already see the things I could do with that. “Myself,” he added, as if it weren’t already obvious. And of course, right after he said the words, I realized that _of course_ it was homemade, because if you looked real close you could see the tiny mistakes where a stem had broken or hadn’t been pulled tight enough. That just made it more perfect, because I’d have a piece of him with me every time I wore it. I had a feeling I’d be wearing this particular crown quite often. “I remember you saying that daisies were a favourite, and I like yellow, and hyacinth is one of my favourites…” he trailed off, and I realized I probably didn’t look very invested in the conversation, and he might have even thought I didn’t like it.

            “I love it,” I assured him, removing the one I had on already- lavender rose to match my jumper- and slipped the new one on, half-curious as to how long I’d actually be able to wear it since these were real flowers. I realized with a small gasp that this new crown matched my jumper as well, and I couldn’t stop myself from leaping out of my chair and going over to his side to place a chaste kiss on his cheek. “It’s beautiful.”

            “I’m glad you like it,” he said softly, blue eyes bright and twinkling. I stood up straight when he pushed his chair back, and, under some unspoken agreement, we walked toward the front door together, smiling and waving at the barista who told us to have a good night. I didn’t miss the way he subtly placed a palm over his cheek where my lips had been only moments ago, and he was blushing again when we stopped outside, under one of the million windows. “At the risk of crossing the wrong boundary,” he began, and I opened my mouth to cut him off because there was almost no boundary he could cross that would be _wrong_ , in my opinion. He pressed two fingers over my lips to shut me up before I could speak. He removed them a second later and gave me no time to respond as he slipped his arms around my waist and hugged me close to his chest.

            “What the fuck?” I blurted out, but moved my own arms up, too, and pressed my face into his shoulder. It worked out perfectly because he was just a couple inches taller than me. God, he smelled good, too. Just like the flowers in my crown.

            He held me for what felt like hours, and he didn’t let go when he said, “I’m really glad you like it,” before adjusting his grip and tightening his arms around me, and I was in heaven, or the closest thing to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLOWERS ARE COOL.


	6. Montage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil is skipping class, so Dan decides to talk to some people. Everyone in town seems to be extremely opinionated. Phil makes a surprisingly bold move, but Dan's certainly not going to complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! There's a lot going on in this chapter (mostly because it's a span of like two weeks), but I figured this was better than dragging out unnecessary information for another three chapters.

           

           Since we were friends now, I decided it was acceptable to ask about his family. Mum was never going to tell me anything, no matter how many times I brought it up. She was apparently in denial of the whole thing. Tyler and his group just laughed when anyone mentioned it, so I had a feeling that nobody would take me seriously. Louise might’ve, if I could ever get her alone. In all reality, anyway, the best way to get information was to go straight to the source. That is, if he’d give anything up.

 

**September 29, 2010**

“You ever think about inviting Phil over?” I asked, settling into one of the chairs. Tyler and Connor shared an expression of amusement and laughed. Louise patted my shoulder sympathetically right as Troye showed up with confusion plastered on his face. He looked to Connor for explanation before sitting down beside him.

            “He’d say no,” Tyler answered as he shoved a fork in his mouth. He was silent for a moment as he chewed, and then added, “Maybe he’d agree to it now that you guys are buddies.” He said the word almost sadly, as if he wished he were in my place or something. A few weeks ago I’d have offered to switch bodies and let him try being friends with the least friendly guy in existence. Now, I would honestly rather be in that corner with Phil instead of here with these people, and not just because I hated that Phil always sat alone.

            “He’s not wrong,” Louise offered with a small smile. “Maybe you _should_ ask him.” Coming from her mouth, the idea seemed a bit more reasonable. Maybe because she wasn’t motivated by weird desires.

            “Sure,” I agreed after a few seconds. “I’ll go ask him right now.” I stood up before anyone could object and stalked off across the cafeteria. He was already watching as I approached his table.

            “I’m not coming over there,” Phil said before I’d even opened my mouth. I actually wasn’t surprised; he wasn’t too fond of my friends, but I couldn’t really blame him. His voice was rough, but his eyes twinkled when he raised his head to look at me, and I noticed that he’d removed the bar in his eyebrow. “You could sit, though.”

 

**October 1, 2010**

“I was hoping we could talk about something.” I plopped down across from him and crossed an arm over my chest. His eyes went right to my head, where his crown sat. I’d worn it twice this week, and he didn’t even try to be subtle about looking anymore. He gave a tiny smile before responding.

            “We’re always talking about something,” he offered, but he leaned forward in his seat and placed his arms on the table, hands stretching out toward me. Both of his eyebrows were still bare, but he made no mention of it. “What are we talking about today?”

            “Why does everyone hate your dad?” I’d been trying to think of a good way to ask that question for almost a month, and there apparently wasn’t one. Phil’s eyes bulged momentarily and then he smoothed his features out, taking deep breaths. I’d guess that it was a sore spot for him.

            “He didn’t do any of the stuff you read about,” he said curtly. “I know he was exonerated”- he put the word in air quotes- “but he shouldn’t have been accused in the first place.”

            “So why was he?” I couldn’t help myself- I was too curious about the whole situation. “WorldWares wouldn’t have hired him if they thought he’d actually done it, and yet the whole town still sees him as some kind of monster.” I leaned in to reach his hands and took one in both of mine, feeling a surge of pride when he didn’t pull away. “For what it’s worth, I think he’s a good guy.”

            “You don’t even know him.” Phil looked down to our hands and sighed. His next words were a whisper, and I was pretty sure he didn’t mean for me to hear. “It was a punishment.”

 

**October 4, 2010**

_It was a punishment._ _Punishment._ Those four words replayed in my head all weekend, and it was worse because I never got to see Phil away from the prying eyes to ask what he meant. Something told me he wouldn’t have answered my questions anyway, since I was absolutely convinced I hadn’t been meant to hear him say it. None of that mattered, though, because he wasn’t even in class today. He was pulling an Edward Cullen, but he couldn’t hide from his problems forever. I thought he and I were past this.

            “He’s not going to magically appear,” Tyler informed me at the end of lunch. I’d been staring at Phil’s table the whole time and ignoring everyone at my own. Somehow he’d snaked his way up to the top of my priority list, and now I worried whenever he wasn’t around. I finally tore my eyes away to see Tyler watching me with what looked like actual concern. “Staring a hole into his chair won’t do anything.”

            “Shut up,” I said just as the bell rang. I jumped up and walked off while the others stayed where they were, trying to suck out the last few seconds of the break.

 

**October 5, 2010**

“Do you think he did it?”

            “It doesn’t matter what I think, dear. He was exonerated. It’s not even on his record anymore.”

            “Yeah, but, personally,” I tried again, leaning over the counter and watching as mum scrubbed at a dish in the sink. “If it had been up to you, where would he be?” It was a long-shot, I knew. Nobody else was telling me, and Phil had been absent _again_.

            “He wouldn’t be working with my firm, that’s for sure.”

            “So you think he’s guilty,” I accused. She lifted a shoulder in acknowledgment, but didn’t turn to look at me, which I took to mean I was right. She was just like everyone else in this stupid town. “Did he ever even get a chance to tell his side of the story?”

            “Of course,” mum insisted, finally twisting around. She still held the dishrag one hand. “He never took it, though.”

            “What does that mean?”

            “During the trial,” she said, “he just sat there. Didn’t try to defend himself in the slightest.”

            “Why not?” I demanded. I’d read everything I could get my hands on, but I’d never seen anything about his actual behaviour during the whole thing.

            “I’m not sure,” she admitted after a moment. “It was one of the easiest cases I’ve ever handled.”

 

**October 9, 2010**

“I don’t know what to tell you.” I’d gone to Hayes’ to see if I could get any information out of Hazel. I hadn’t seen her anywhere, but now I was frozen in my tracks at the end of an aisle because I’d heard Phil’s voice, and he sounded pissed. I peeked over the shelf.

            “You have got to stop living such a sheltered life.” This came from Caspar, and I shuddered on instinct. I still hadn’t gotten answers to the questions arising from our last encounter, and I really hated the idea of him being so close to either of us now. “Live a little, baby.”

            “Don’t call me that,” Phil spit out, stepping away from him. He’d worn his leather jacket today, making him look pretty intimidating. “You need to stop.”

            “Stop what?” Caspar’s tone was innocent, but I didn’t even need all the details to know it was a big fat lie. He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back against the counter. “It doesn’t really matter, anyway. There’s no possibility of redemption for me, not anymore.” He paused for a moment and then lifted a hand as he said, “And you’ll go with me. Our choices are dwindling. Why continue the facade?”

            “And you wonder why you need a keeper,” Phil snapped, seemingly angrier by the minute. “Joe Sugg has better things to do with his time.”

            “Why don’t you tell _them_ that?”

            “You’re the reason for the fear,” Phil accused. It sounded like an insult, but I was utterly confused. I really wanted to march up and demand answers, but it didn’t seem like a conversation they’d invite me to be a part of. I started to back up, intending to find Hazel and worry about them later, but I tripped over someone on my first step.

            “Dan!” Hazel’s cheery voice rang out around the shop as she stuck a hand out to steady me. I heard shuffling behind me and glanced over to see both Caspar and Phil heading towards us. Caspar wore his usual idiotic grin and Phil looked like he was ready to murder someone. “You here to see Caspar, too?”

            “God, no,” I said, right as he stepped up behind me. “I was looking for you, actually.” From the corner of my eye, I could see Phil watching me. Caspar reached out to place a hand on my shoulder, and Phil slapped his arm away. “I wanted to talk to you- privately.”

            “Of course,” Hazel agreed, looking past me to Caspar. “Run the register.”

 

X X X

 

            I didn’t know if it was worth it to tell Phil I’d heard him and Caspar. I didn’t even know what it was that I’d heard, and I knew without a doubt that he wasn’t about to offer up an explanation.

            At the Salty Flower that night, I wasn’t surprised to find that Phil was nowhere inside. What did surprise me was the text I received right after taking the chair across from Louise. Tyler and Felix sat on either side of her. “I’ll be right back,” I announced, standing up. I hoped the shock wasn’t evident on my face, because the message had come from Phil, asking me to meet him outside. He wasn’t supposed to know I was here, unless he was following me around now.

            I waited under one of the windows, but it was almost too dark to see anything. Someone grabbed me from behind, and I _yelp_ ed as the stranger dragged me backwards into the alley. I raised my fists, ready to fight my way out, and stopped just short of hitting Phil’s jaw.

            “Goddamnit, Phil!” I lowered my hands to my sides slowly. I couldn't help but notice that he'd removed the rest of his piercings, for whatever reason. I'd have to ask about it later. “You could’ve just asked me to follow you.”

            “Sorry,” was his reply, as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets. He looked upset about something, and everything in me shifted to focus on _why_. “I had to make sure nobody saw.”

            “Why? Are you going to kill me or something?” I’d meant it as a joke, but the swift change in his expression had me regretting the words almost instantly.

            “I’d never hurt you,” he almost whispered, apparently offended by my statement. “I do need a favour, though.”

            “Anything,” I found myself saying, lost in the way his blue eyes were intensely focused on mine and sparkling in the dim light streaming in from a streetlamp.

            “Stay away from Caspar.” His tone was sharp, but I could hear the underlying motive- he was worried, or afraid. I waited for him to give me a reason- or more- but he just stood there, watching me expectantly. And, of course, because I was so far gone by this point, I would agree to it. Besides, something about the guy creeped me out.

            “Okay,” I said, and Phil sighed, visibly relieved. I could have been lying, but he must’ve decided to believe me, and it seemed pretty important to him. “I never liked him, anyway.” I decided not to ask about what I’d heard.

 

**October 12, 2010**

“You’re spending an awful lot of time with him lately,” Tyler accused while we sorted slides. Mr. Plier had given us another one of his weird drawing assignments, this time with random herbs he claimed to have found in his backyard. I wasn’t even paying attention, really. I doubted Tyler was, either. I’d glanced back more than once to see Phil’s eyes glued to his microscope- he seemed to be the only one in the class who gave an actual shit about the work.

            “So?” I took a slide from his hand and stuck it under the lens. “Parsley, I think.” Tyler nodded once and wrote the word down on the worksheet; he didn’t bother looking for himself. “We’re pretty good friends now. He likes me.”     

            “Clearly.” He took the next panel of glass and pressed an eye to the eyepiece. “Basil.” I jotted it down with one hand and took the next slide with the other. “I just think it’s weird.”

            “What’s weird?” I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know the answer.

            “So, just friends?”

            “Yeah? What’s your point?” He glanced quickly at the next herb as I spoke and then straightened back up to shrug his shoulders.

            “I’m just saying,” he continued, jotting down the name- thyme- without even asking me this time. “If y’all are dating”-

            “We’re not,” I cut in, throwing a palm out in front of his face. It was probably too defensive, even though it was true- unfortunately- and Tyler’s lips stretched into a grin, and he handed me the last slide with a giggle. “We’re not dating,” I said again, snatching the glass from his palm.

 

**October 14, 2010**

“It’s a real shame,” Mum said as she took my plate. “She’s such a good worker. I just don’t see how she came from the same family.” Mum was referring to Zoe Sugg, better known as Phil’s cousin. I wondered if there was any relation between her and Joe Sugg, the guy I’d heard Phil mention to Caspar that day in the pharmacy. It was an unusual name- my guess was yes. “That entire family is nothing but a bad omen. I’m surprised they’ve stayed here as long as they have.”

            “They’re not so bad,” I argued, standing up to join her at the sink. “Phil and I have gotten pretty close, and he’s nothing like the way you describe the Lesters.”

            “You need to be careful with him, Dan,” mum warned, pointing a finger at me. “I know you’ve made so many good friends. I don’t understand why you insist on spending so much time with the son of the most dangerous man in this town.”

            “He’s not dangerous,” I snapped, causing her eyes to widen as she turned to face me completely. I never raised my voice around her, but I’d never really had a reason to. “Phil told me what happened. It was all a misunderstanding.”

            “Of course he’d tell you that, sweetheart,” mum told me in a soothing voice. “He doesn’t want to believe his father is a criminal.”

            I opened my mouth to respond but was cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing. “I got it,” I said, walking through the house to the front door. I pulled the door open and gasped out loud, and I was pretty sure my jaw dropped to the floor.

            “Hey,” Phil said, standing under the porch light, fringe falling into his eyes and fists in the pockets of his leather jacket. He smiled slightly, causing my heart to skip a beat. I could barely remember the time when I’d thought he actually looked _tough_ in that coat. Now he just looked adorable, and I really wanted him to hug me again.

            “What are you doing here?” I demanded instead, stepping back automatically to let him in. “How do you even know where I live?”

            “I may have hacked the school records,” he answered with a laugh, and I actually couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. “Can we”- he gestured with his hands, and I stepped outside to join him. He looked really anxious for some reason, and I didn’t think it was because he was about to give more bad news. He stared a hold into the ground and I watched him for a moment.

            “What are you doing here?” I tried again, and he snapped his head up to look at me with wide eyes. Quite suddenly, with no warning, he lunged at me, placing one hand under each ear and pressing his lips to mine with a manner that was almost desperate.

            He was soft and warm- this was the first thing I registered. His fingers curled over my skin, trailing down my neck, and I felt a shiver roll down my spine at his touch. I’d had my own arms at my sides, but I moved them now to wrap around his neck, as he slipped one hand down to my shoulder and then to my waist. He had a grip on my hip that was almost painful, but I never wanted him to let go. An involuntary moan slipped from my lips when I felt his tongue pressing against my teeth. I was on fire, every nerve-ending a live wire, and I suddenly understood the meaning behind the phrase ' _sparks will fly_ '.

            It could’ve lasted a few minutes or a few seconds or a few years- I wouldn’t have known, nor did I care. All I could focus on was the fact that he was _kissing_ me- something I’d been dreaming about pretty much since the moment I saw him- and he was really fucking good at it, too. He’d slipped his tongue into my mouth, and now he pulled back slightly, bringing me with him as I didn’t want it to end. A hand was placed gently on my cheek as he broke the kiss, rendering us both breathless. I lowered my arms back down, thinking he’d do the same.

            “Where’d that…come from?” I panted, almost embarrassed at the state I’d put myself in. I couldn’t feel too bad about it, though. He was smiling widely and still touching my face with his fingers, leaving a trail of flames as he moved his hand down to my shoulder once more. Everything inside me was tingling, and it felt like a thousand butterflies were trapped in my stomach.

            “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now,” Phil told me, tightening his grip on my waist and providing a reminder that he was still holding me in the process. I decided to take the risk and threw my arms back around him, pressing my face into his shoulder and feeling better than I had in a long time. “And I know you’ve wanted it since the day you first met me,” he continued in a teasing tone, tilting his head to the side. I felt his fringe brush against my ear and let out a nervous giggle. It had been more obvious than I’d thought.

            “Not that obvious,” he murmured after a moment, and I pulled away slightly. I hadn’t said that out loud, had I? “Don’t worry,” he assured me, pushing me away to meet my eyes. This was the closest I’d ever been to them, and I noticed for the first time that there were little specks of green and yellow mixed in with the blue. I’d never seen anything more beautiful in my life. “By the way, I also know that you heard me with Caspar the other day.”

            “I didn’t mean to hear it,” I promised, hoping it wouldn’t ruin the moment. “I'm curious, though.”

            He shook his head before the last word had left my mouth. “You’re confused,” he corrected, holding me at arm’s length. “I’ll explain everything, but we can’t talk here.” He leaned in close to press his lips against my ear, whispering, “Your mum can’t know.” He pulled away, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek before meeting my gaze again, and I nodded once. I was practically putty in his hands- he probably knew it, too.

            He laughed suddenly, and I raised an eyebrow, but didn’t question it. He’d said he would explain everything, and I believed him. He removed his arms from my waist and I was suddenly too cold without his embrace. I took the hand he held out and asked, “When did you decide all this?” I wasn’t sure if I meant the secrets or the kiss, but it didn’t really matter.

            “You’ve become important in my life,” Phil explained as we walked down the pavement, toward the clearing that sat behind a few of the houses on my street. With my free hand, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and typed a quick text to mum, saying I'd be home in a couple hours. She'd probably be happy since I'd told her it was Tyler. She was okay with me being friends with anyone but Phil. “Also, I have nothing to lose, and I want this- us”- he held our joined hands up – “but I want you to know the whole story before you get involved.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do y'all like this montage thingy? Let me know!!


	7. It's a Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil get a bit cozier as Phil explains a few things about Caspar Lee. Tyler's still a hoe, but what else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Y'all are gonna love this. Shoutout to "Delilah" for suggesting a song (The World is Ugly by MCR) Listen to it for added effect!

**  
**

**October 14, 2010**

“He used to be into drugs,” Phil explained, picking at the grass poking up around his ankles. “Before we came here.” He sat with his legs crossed, leaning back against a tree trunk. I’d been sitting, but now I stood and paced back and forth in front of him, trying not to get distracted by the way his hair kept falling down when he bent forward. “He was my best friend.”

            The way his voice cracked slightly when he said _was_ made me sit back down beside him, and as soon as I was on the ground, his arm shot out to curl around my waist. He’d asked me to wait until the end to ask my questions, so I watched him in silence until he opened his mouth again. He seemed to be thinking pretty hard about what to say next.

            Finally, his lips parted. “I didn’t know at first, but I caught him in the bathroom at school with a bag,” he said. “I didn’t know what it was at first, and when he asked if I wanted some, I thought he was just being nice. It didn’t even occur to me that he was hiding in the corner with the stuff- that should’ve set me off, but it didn’t.”

            “Right as the stupid bag touched my hand, a teacher walked in.” Phil’s grip tightened on me and I wondered if he even knew he was doing it. “It was Mr. Walters and he didn’t even get a chance to accuse one of us before Caspar was shouting about how it was all mine, and how I’d tried to force it on him.”

            “It was a lucky day for me,” Phil continued, “because Mr. Walters was familiar with drug behaviour, and he could see that Caspar was obviously the one who’d been using. So, we both got sent to the principal’s office, and they had Caspar expelled on the spot.” He paused a moment then, shuddering, and then said, “it turned out that it wasn’t Caspar’s first experience with drugs- not even the first time he’d been caught.”

            “It didn’t follow me when I came here, and I’m glad for that. I don’t think I could’ve handled the backlash. Not with everything else going on.” He tilted his head to the side, resting on top of mine, and I felt more butterflies in my stomach even though this was supposed to be a serious moment. “Before long, though, the rumour spread that I was hateful and unapproachable, and I decided to let it stay that way.”

            “So that’s why you hated me at first?” I asked, unable to keep quiet any longer. He let out a harsh laugh and straightened back up.

            “I never hated you,” he replied, pulling back a bit to look at me. “I just assumed you were like everyone else.” He lowered his eyes to the ground as he added, “I see now that I was wrong about that.”           

            “I’m sorry,” I blurted out, and he jerked his head back up. “I know it won’t help anything, but I am. I’m sorry that everyone acts like you’re some kind of psycho, and I’m sorry that you lost your best friend.”

            His eyes widened as I said it, and he reached a hand out slowly to touch my cheek. His fingers slid down to curl around my neck and under my ear, and then he pulled his hand away just as quick and turned away from me abruptly. I started to open my mouth and ask what he was doing, and then I heard it.

            Phil was crying.

            “Phil?” I said his name tentatively and shuffled over to see his other side. I ended up having to crawl right across his lap with the way he still held on to me, but at least he didn’t try to hide his face when his eyes met mine and I could see the tears dripping down his cheeks. “Phil, what’s wrong? Did I say something?” I reached out with one hand to try and pry his hand off his face, and he let go immediately, gripping my fingers almost painfully.

            “Why do you care so much?” he asked shakily. It was an echo of his voice from weeks ago, but this time the tone was sad and desperate instead of sarcastic and cocky. He pulled his arm from my side to reach up and wipe at his eyes as he added, “Nobody else cares.”

            I almost corrected him and said that he was wrong because all the teachers loved him. I bit my tongue to keep the words inside because that wasn’t what he meant and now was not the time to be an idiot. Instead, I leaned in closer to him, pulled both my arms free, and wrapped them around his shoulders in as tight a grip as I could manage. His arms came around me after a few seconds, and then he was pressing his forehead against the side of my neck and trembling so hard it shook us both. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure why I cared so much. It had been a shit ton of effort on my part in the beginning to get him to talk to me, and it would’ve been a hell of a lot easier to just give up and move on, but something about him made me want to keep trying. I still hadn’t figured out it, but the feeling was still strong. He made me happy for some reason.

            “I’m happier with you,” I decided, realizing how true it was the moment the words left my mouth. “I mean, it’s not like I was an angsty teen who despised moving halfway around the world, but I also had my whole life back in Manchester, and sometimes I still really miss it.” He nodded against my shoulder before raising up to look at me, revealing a tiny smile. “I guess I care because when I’m with you, I don’t miss it so much.” I’d never had any problem leaving my dad and brother. Neither of them understood my sexuality or personality, and I’d been the butt of more than a few jokes around Adrien’s friends. Dad had never threatened to disown me or anything, but I knew he wasn’t very fond of the fact that I liked boys more than I liked girls. Mum was much more understanding and I’d always enjoyed the summers in her firm because of it.

            “Nobody’s ever apologized,” Phil announced suddenly, bringing one hand up to his face again. “All I’ve ever heard in my life is how horrible my family is because of what they think Dad did, and nobody ever gave a single shit about the fact that I was hurting. They just said I was better off.” His lower lip trembled slightly, and I was sure he’d start crying again, but all he did was sigh heavily as he slumped back against the tree we were sitting under.

            “I’m glad you’re telling me this stuff,” I told him, crawling forward to settle beside him again. I stretched my legs out alongside his, and he placed a hand on my thigh. I could feel the warmth of his palm through my jeans, and the sensation was surprisingly comforting. I turned toward him. “Are you going to be okay?”

            He was silent for a whole minute before responding, but when he finally did, he shuffled over to press his lips to my cheek and said, “More than okay.”

 

X  X  X

 

**October 15, 2010**

 

            “Oh my God,” Tyler squealed, slamming his bag down on the table. We were the first to arrive to the cafeteria, and I already knew what he was excited about. I pulled a chair out and sat down, waiting for him to gush about Caspar.

            “Tell me you didn’t already fuck him,” Felix said, appearing behind Tyler. He grinned before taking the seat next to him, and Marzia was right behind them to sit on Felix’s left. She shot one of her usual apologetic glances in my direction and I wondered- again- what she was doing with Felix.

            “Please,” Tyler scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. “I have a reputation to uphold.” His eyes were wide and shining, so whatever had happened must have been good. I found myself listening intently, thought a part of me didn’t want to hear a single word about Caspar Lee. After mine and Phil’s conversation last night, I didn’t have much warmth to feel toward the guy.

            “What reputation?” Connor asked loudly, still a few feet away and towing Troye behind him. They both sat across from Tyler and I noticed that neither of them had gotten a tray. “Everyone in this school knows you’re easy.” They all laughed at that, including Tyler (though, to be honest, the only one you could’ve heard was him, because he was a fucking banshee).

            “It was actually really nice,” Tyler protested playfully, still giggling as he told us about his dumb date with Caspar. “He kept doing these cool tricks- making stuff disappear and guessing really specific things I was thinking about. It was mind-blowing.”

            “Wow,” Troye commented, leaning over Connor’s shoulder. “You’re usually not this excited about fuck buddies.” I was starting to sense a trend here. Had Tyler ever been serious about anything in his life before now?

            “I think he might be more than that,” Tyler admitted, causing everyone at the table to gasp loudly. I couldn’t even tell if it was fake or if they honestly were that shocked that Tyler might have actual feelings for another person. “I don’t know, guys. It was just the first date!”

            “So you’re going out with him again?” I blurted out, and everyone looked at Tyler, apparently very interested in his answer. After a few moments of silence, he grinned widely, poking his tongue out between his teeth, and nodded.

            “That is, if he’s interested,” he corrected after a beat, running a hand harshly through his purple quif. Felix opened his mouth and began asking more questions about the night before, but I tuned them out when I felt a pair of eyes on me. I didn’t even have to turn to know it was Phil, but I turned around anyway because I wanted to see his expression. He watched me with concern etched into every line on his face.

 

X  X  X

 

**October 16, 2010**

“Joe Sugg is his probation officer,” Phil was explaining. We were currently leaning against each other, under the same tree as two nights ago. He had one of my hands in his lap, playing with our fingers absentmindedly, and I watched him shamelessly. I still couldn’t believe how much he’d changed- right in front of my eyes- in the past couple weeks. “I forgot to tell you that part the other night.”

            “I won’t hold it against you,” I promised with a smile. I kept smiling until he looked over, and his lips curled up in the corners. Now that I knew the extent of his sadness, I’d made it my personal mission to make him smile as often as possible. My phone buzzed in my pocket then, and I pulled it out to see a text from Tyler. He was getting ready to meet Caspar again; I sighed.

            “He’ll lose interest,” Phil assured me as he looked over to read the message. He gave my hand a squeeze and added, “He always does.”

           

X  X  X

 

**October 17, 2010**

_Last night was amazeballs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

I read the message with a scowl, trying to understand why it was necessary to have that many exclamation points. I typed out a reply that I hoped wasn’t as sarcastic as I felt, and then I noticed the time; it was seven in the morning.

            “Ugh,” I groaned out loud, rolling over and stuffing my face into a pillow. My phone went off again a few seconds later, and I reached for it quickly, already thinking of passive-aggressive ways to steer him away from Caspar.

            _Good morning!!_ it read instead, along with a couple of smiley faces. I felt my cheeks warming up as I thought of something to say back, wondering what Phil was doing up this early in the first place. The next message came almost as soon as I’d sent my response- _I had a weird dream about you last night._

His words went straight to my dick as I asked what the dream was about. I couldn’t count how many times he’d been in my dreams, and I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the first time he’d dreamt of me, or just the first time he’d told me about it.

            _Meet @ Salty Flower- I’ll tell you about it!_

I got dressed quickly- pastel pink jumper and grey skinnies- and went downstairs to find that mum had already left for work. There was a note on the fridge- _Won’t be home until late_ \- but that was nothing new. Especially when she got major clients. That must have been the case this time.

            The Salty Flower was within walking distance, but just about everything was within walking distance in Spring City. It only took a few minutes to get to the coffeehouse, but Phil was already there when I peeked through a window. He sat in his usual corner behind the stairs, head barely visible. I had the feeling he spent a lot of time here and felt extremely thankful that the place was always open.

            He was bent over the table top, fringe falling and brushing against the pages of his book as he scribbled furiously across the page. He didn’t even notice I was there until I placed a hand on his shoulder and he jumped up. I caught a glimpse of a the paper before he slapped the cover over it, but the few lines of text- _gray in the colours that paint a neighbor; gray in their words when they ask for a favour_ \- didn’t make any sense to me. I wondered briefly if he was into poetry, but the thought was cut short when he kissed me, lips pressing together softly and his hands on my back.

            “I could get used to that kind of greeting,” I mused as I sat down across from him. I smiled widely when he laughed softly and opened his book back up, this time to a blank page. I leaned forward to rest my chin on my hands and said, “So, what happened in this dream?”

            “We were trainers,” he said with another giggle, “at SeaWorld.” I clapped a hand over my mouth. I hadn’t expected that. I waited for him to continue, but he didn’t.

            “That’s it?” I asked incredulously after a full minute of silence. “What do you normally dream of?” His shoulders tensed up momentarily, and then he lowered his pen as he looked up at me.

            “Nothing.”

            “Nothing?” I echoed.

            “I almost never dream when I sleep,” he explained casually, moving his notebook to the side. I was sure my eyes were about to bulge out of my head. I mean, it wasn’t like I’d never heard of it, but it was almost too weird to imagine sleeping without dreaming. Then again, my imagination went into overdrive at night. I could count on one hand the nights I recalled being dreamless. Phil smiled a bit before saying, “It’s kind of weird.”

            “Yeah, a little bit,” I agreed, but I was incredibly happy. Mostly because it seemed to make Phil so happy. His hand reached out for the journal once more, and I asked, “Am I ever allowed to see what’s in there?”

            “Nope,” he answered immediately, seemingly completely serious despite the grin on his face. “I keep my secrets in here.” I decided not to press that particular subject; the current system of him telling me things when he felt ready to was working just fine.

            Suddenly, a thought occurred to me, and I looked to Phil with excitement. “Hey,” I said, and he looked up with a cheerful expression. “You wanna go out sometime?”

            “We are out,” Phil stated, gesturing around the room with a wide sweep of his palm. I scowled and he laughed.

            “You know what I meant,” I muttered under my breath. He slide a hand over to hold mine, sending a shiver down my spine. I’d probably never get used to the feeling of his skin on mine, and I kind of hoped I didn’t.

            “We’re kind of already dating,” he reminded me, offering the reassurance I was searching for in my question. “You can consider this our first official date.”

            “You gonna walk me to my door afterwards?” I teased, even though I felt like I could melt right into the floor. His hand was on mine again, squeezing gently.

            “If you want me to.” His eyes twinkled in the light, and then he added, “Or, you could walk me to mine.”

            My eyes flew open at the suggestion- was it what I thought it was?

            He leaned in close, almost whispering the next part. “It’s exactly what you think it is.” He wore a lopsided grin as he settled back against his chair to wait for my answer. Of course, for me it wasn’t a question of _if_ -it was more like _when_ , because there was no way I’d ever be able to refuse an offer like that. Not from him. The idea of being held in his warmth was too enticing. He must have been able to read my mind or something.

            “Tonight?” I asked, half-hoping he’d say yes, but also not really knowing how to work that out on such short notice.

            “Only when you’re ready,” he promised. There was still a small part of me that didn’t know if we were talking about the same thing, but I was too awkward to clarify. I could feel myself turning red just thinking about it. “Maybe this weekend?”

            “Yeah,” I agreed, practically shaking with relief. There was no doubt in my mind that I was ready for whatever it was we were talking about, but I couldn’t help the anxiety. I’d never gotten past kissing with anyone before. Still, there was an undeniable feeling of trust being placed upon his image in my mind. I knew I wouldn’t regret anything that happened with him. “It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hi friends and pals. I just wanna say thanks for being a fan! I love you all! (Okay, go on about your business)


	8. The Lesters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is meeting Phil's family for the first time, and he's experiencing a lot of feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I'm gonna be out of town for the next two weeks, so there will probably not be updates to this story until I get back. (pls don't murder me)

**October 22, 2010**

“I need a favour,” I said to Tyler as we sat across from each other at the lunch table. Nobody else had arrived yet, but I could see Louise in the line at the back of the cafeteria.

            “Sure,” Tyler replied almost immediately, glancing down at his tray in disgust. “Oh God, what _is_ this?”

            “Cover for me this weekend,” I continued, causing him to snap his head up and look at me with wide eyes. I could tell he already knew what I was asking for, and he looked pretty fucking pleased with himself. “I told mom I was going to be with you, but I’m guessing you know what’s really happening.”

            “You dirty whore,” Tyler said with a grin, leaning over to slap a palm down on my shoulder. Louise appeared behind him at that exact moment and sat down between us.

            “Those words are usually directed at you, Tyler,” she said with a laugh, and then she turned to me to ask, “Has he corrupted you so soon?”

            “I’m spending the weekend with Phil,” I explained, and her mouth popped open. “Tyler’s covering for me because mum doesn’t trust him.” Every time I thought about it, I got more irritated. In the past month and a half, I’d learned a lot of things about this town, and I was starting to regret my decision to move here. If I hadn’t met Phil, I’d have probably already started working out a plan to get back to Manchester. I _had_ met him, though, and every day that passed brought me closer to a realization that I was sure would scare him off. I mean, I didn’t know if it was real or not, because I’d never experienced it before, but I imagined it felt a lot like this. He was warm and safe, and ever since that first hug, there was no place I wanted to be more than in his arms. And his lips- god, his lips. They were softer than anything I’d ever felt, and though he hadn’t done it yet, I was imagining a very vivid scenario where he placed those lips on my neck-

            “Dan.”

            “Dan!”

            I blinked a few times and looked around, slightly flustered. Louise and Tyler both watched me with amused expressions, and I knew I’d been caught. I could see Troye and Connor walking toward us and leaned over to whisper harshly, “Don’t say anything,” right as they approached the table hand-in-hand. Across the room, Felix and Marzia sat with a group of kids I didn’t recognize, save for one. Anthony- the wannabe bully who still thought _fag_ was an insult- was laughing his ass off at something Felix had said, and I couldn’t even bring myself to be shocked by the fact that the two of them were friends. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Phil watching them as well, glaring daggers at Anthony’s back.

            “Invite him over,” Louise suggested suddenly, breaking into my thoughts once more. “He might come over now that you guys are so close.” I doubted it, because Louise and I seemed to be the only two people who cared about Phil as an actual human being and not just some kind of fucktoy. Still, I stood up and walked over to his table, where he sat alone, having decided to ignore Anthony in favour of his journal, which was opened to the same page I’d seen the other night. There were new words written- _Some believe there’s only black, some see only white_ \- and I wondered for the second time if this was another mystery in his life. I didn’t have long to think on it before he lifted his chin slightly, noticed me standing there, and smiled as he closed the book.

            He stood up before I could open my mouth and said, “They’re insistent, I see,” with a chuckle as he held a hand out. I took it happily and led him over to the table, purposely ignoring Tyler’s dramatic sigh and Louise’s hand on her cheek. Phil must have been listening to us- not that surprising considering how loud Tyler was. Phil waited for me to sit before he joined me, and I got the feeling he was only doing this for me. That thought sent a little tingle down my spine.

            “So, you guys know Phil,” I said, suddenly feeling awkward. They’d all been going to the same school way before I showed up- they should’ve been the ones introducing me to _him_. I flexed my palm under the table, and no sooner than I’d had the thought did I feel a hand covering the fist I didn’t know I’d made, and I glanced over to see Phil looking at me with concern in his eyes. It’d only been a few weeks, but it felt like an eternity since he’d started giving me that expression. That feeling I’d been mulling over earlier came crashing down again, more intense this time, and I squeezed his fingers for leverage so I wouldn’t do something stupid.

            “Looks like he knows you pretty well,” Tyler screeched, earning a punch to the arm from Louise. He rubbed the spot with a roll of his eyes, saying, “I’m just kidding. Damn.”

            “You’ll have to forgive him,” Troye said, leaning over the table slightly. “He’s still working on self-control.” He and Connor both laughed at this, and Tyler glared at them both while Louise shot me a hopeful glance.

            “He better be nice to me,” Tyler muttered, pushing his tray away with one hand. He’d apparently decided not to touch whatever it was they served today- some kind of meat; that’s all I could tell you. “I’m helping him lie to his mother so he can sneak around.” He grinned as he said the words, but I knew he was just joking.

            The sudden pressure on my hand told me that Phil did not.

            “What’s that?” Phil demanded suddenly, eyes widening slightly. “Who’s lying?”

            Tyler glanced in my direction before answering. I’d kind of been hoping this wouldn’t come up- obviously I hadn’t told Phil what I did, but there was a good chance he wouldn’t have found out. I knew it would set off his protective side, and as Tyler explained, “Dan told his mum he was staying with me this weekend as a cover-up” without smirking or winking or any of the other sexual things he always did when Phil’s name was involved in the discussion, I could see where this was going to go. I turned my head slightly to meet Phil’s eyes, unsurprised to find him already staring at me.

            “You had to lie to your mum?” he asked in a tiny voice, features twisted in obvious hurt, and the worst part was that I knew there was no confusion; he knew exactly why I’d lied.

            “She thinks you’re bad for me,” I finally admitted, regretting entirely my decision to bring him over here. His hand found mine again and he laced our fingers together- and obvious sign of his nerves. He opened his mouth to protest, but I cut him off with, “It’s okay, Phil. She’ll come around.” He parted his lips once more, but then closed his mouth again without saying anything.

            “What happened to all your piercings?” Tyler’s voice cut in a moment later, apparently back to his normal self. I looked up and away from Phil’s face to see Tyler staring at Phil intently, head tilted slightly. There was a hint of a smile playing on Phil’s lips as he twisted around to face Tyler.

            “Took ‘em out,” he answered with a shrug. I couldn’t help but laugh at that, because I could remember vividly the day he’d told me about that part of his life. _It’s part of the appearance_ , he’d explained when I asked why he had so many (technically, it was only four, but still). Over the course of the last couple weeks, he’d slowly begun removing them, and now his head was metal-free. I had to admit- I liked this version of him better, because it was more like the version he’d been showing me more and more lately, and that was the version I was starting to really love.

            Luckily, nobody pressed him for details, but that might have just been because I glared at Tyler every time he opened his mouth after that, and we got through the lunch period in peaceful silence, but I didn’t miss the looks Phil kept tossing in my direction as he listened to Louise and me discussing homework for the one class we shared together- maths.

            Phil jumped up a half-second before the bell rang and towed me from the table, leading us out of the cafeteria and into a corner of the stairwell. After glancing around with wide eyes, he looked to me and said, “Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

            “Absolutely,” I assured him, knowing it was the only response I could give that wouldn’t make him try to talk me out of it. “You still want me to come?” It’d been all I could think about pretty much since the moment he offered it, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit insecure as I waited the few seconds for his response. There was still a chance of him changing his mind.

            “Absolutely,” he echoed with a smile, the kind of smile he only wore when it was just the two of us, and he reached both arms out to wrap around me tightly as he brought us close together, close enough for our chests to touch, and he bent over slightly to press his lips to mine quickly. There was a spark blooming inside me somewhere, and my own arms shot out to hug his neck as the flame grew and spread, and I was once again reminded of that revelation- it seemed that it grew stronger every time it appeared in my thoughts.

 

X X X

 

            “You can stop crying now,” Phil teased as he parked, causing the lime green Mitsubishi Mirage to shudder violently before coming to a standstill. He took one hand off the wheel and nudged my shoulder. “We’re still alive.”

            “You are the world’s worst driver,” I informed him as I took his hand off my arm. His fingers curled around my palm as I did so, and I felt a sudden burst of elation at the fact that I was about to see the part of his life that nobody else saw, but then the car let out another jerk as he moved the gear shift and I was reminded of how many times we’d almost died on the way here (four). He ignored my statement as he got out and walked over to my side, opening the door right as I put my hand on the handle and offering his own hand as I got out.

            “I think it’s only fair that I get to experience _your_ driving before we start making assumptions.” His hand was tight on mine as he led me away from the car and up the long driveway. He lived right on the edge of the city limits, but it was a really nice house. From what I could see, there were at least two stories and possibly a basement, but what I really liked were the bay windows at the front that most likely looked into the kitchen and master bedroom. On the wall adjacent to the huge windows was a balcony railing overflowing with ivy leaves. “By the way,” he said once we were on the deck, “I have a pretty big family. It’s not just me and my parents, even though all those stories you read probably didn’t mention anyone else.”

            I nearly choked when he said that, and he ended up turning to me with actual concern in his eyes because I started hacking up my lungs. “The fuck,” I muttered as he clapped a hand over my back.

            “You’re the first person in this town to look past the rumours,” Phil continued, reaching for the door and smiling when it opened before he touched it.

            “Philip!” shouted a short woman with flaming hair. It was insanely curly and piled on top of her head in a nest-like pattern. She walked the short distance and wrapped Phil in her arms- it was actually pretty funny because he was more than twice her height. The hug only lasted a few seconds, and then she pulled away to look me up and down. “And who’s your friend?”

            “Dan,” he said simply, smiling widely, and the woman’s eyes lit up as she looked to me again. Before I could react, she had her arms around me in a crushing embrace, giggling loudly.

            “Oh, wow,” she said after a few seconds, still holding on to me tightly, “I’ve heard so much about you, Dan. It’s great to finally meet you.” She finally pulled away with twinkling eyes and added, “I was wondering if I’d ever get to see you in person.”

            “Ugh, Cornelia, please,” Phil scoffed, but he was smiling from ear to ear. He moved one arm to my side and took my hand in his as he asked, “Where’s Martyn?”

            “Out back, helping Mum,” Cornelia replied, and then she was back on me, saying, “You really do wear flower crowns? That’s so cute!” and reaching out to touch the one on my head that had pink and purple rose buds. “Do you still have the one Phil made?”

            “Of course,” I answered automatically. I’d still have it even when it dried out completely. I’d keep the pieces in a bag if I had to. Phil let out a nervous laugh and I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. I was the one who was supposed to be nervous right now, not him.

            “Oh, he worked so hard on it,” she gushed, causing Phil to turn red. “Asked me a million questions, too”-

            “Okay, well we better go find Martyn,” Phil cut in, giving my hand a tug. Cornelia grinned and hugged us both once more before continuing on down the pavement, and once she was gone Phil huffed out a loud sigh.

            “She seems nice,” I offered with a smile, and he sighed again. “You must be pretty smitten.”

            “Shut up,” he snapped, trying to sound tough, but I could see right through him now. Besides, it was too much fun now that we’d gotten to this point.

            “Oh, but what happened to Philip Lester, Hater of All?” I asked as we made our way around the house. There were a lot of windows and the walls were painted a light brown. I could make out two figures in the distance, and I realized for the first time just how big the property was. A thought occurred to me then, and instead of another smart remark, I asked, “On a serious note, how come you never showed anyone else this side of you?” After a moment of silence, I added, “Why’d you show me?”

            “You were annoyingly persistent,” he explained, glancing over with a sparkle in his eyes. “It’s hard to put off that kind of behaviour.” Pause. “And I suppose you’re right.”

            “I usually am,” I agreed with a smirk, and he laughed again. “What was I right about this time?”

            He stopped walking and pulled me off to the side, behind a storage building. I could see two people behind a picnic table, but they were both on the ground and stretching out. I didn’t have much time to think about it because I was suddenly being pushed up against the side of the shed as Phil pressed his entire body against mine. I wasn’t sure where the sudden bout of dominance came from, but I certainly wasn’t complaining.

            “I keep thinking about how easily you could’ve just given up,” he said, palming my side as he kissed me. “Every time I remember how awful I was to you, I think of how anyone else in that school would’ve just stopped trying, but not you.” His lips moved down to my neck, eliciting a porn-star moan from my mouth and causing Phil’s eyes to light up with mischief. “I knew it,” he murmured, mostly to himself, before attaching his lips to the spot below my left ear. “Anyway,” he continued a moment later, breath tickling my skin, “I hate to imagine how differently things might be right now if we weren’t such good friends.” He pulled away then, pressing a quick kiss to my cheek before releasing me entirely. He still hadn’t told me what I was right about, but I was pretty sure I’d figured it out.

            “By the way,” he repeated the same words from earlier, “Cornelia is the normal one.” He grinned at the way my eyes bulged and took my hand again as we closed the last bit of distance between us and the rest of his family.

 

X X X

 

            “We’ve heard many good things about you, Dan,” said Phil’s mum as we walked back toward the house. Phil had introduced us a couple hours ago (she’d already hugged me twice), and I’d finally seen that they were doing yoga in the grass. They even had matching tracksuits- light grey with red stripes down the side. “Our Philly talks about you almost constantly.” Phil’s cheeks flushed again, the same way they’d done when Cornelia exposed him the first time.

            “Mum, please,” he practically begged, even through the wide smile on his face as he walked beside me. He wore an expression of amusement, and I got the feeling he actually quite enjoyed his family telling me how much he seemed to like me. I certainly did; it made me feel less like some kind of intruder in his life.

            “Just stating facts, dear,” she replied when we were at the back door. In the kitchen, she asked, “Anyone up for tea?” and I laughed, because it didn’t get more British than that. Phil’s brother- Martyn- came up behind her shoulder and began helping her prepare the kettle. From this angle, I could see how close a match their hair colour was- gingery blonde. Martyn’s was quite short, while Ms. Lester’s was hung right over her shoulders. I wondered if this was the colour Phil had naturally.

            “Dad’ll be home soon,” Martyn announced, causing Phil to tense up slightly. “He said he was looking forward to meeting you, Dan.” I suddenly felt very nervous, because he might have been the most important person to meet in all this. I’d finally be able to see for myself what kind of person he was. I could see half of Ms. Lester’s face; she grinned into the kettle. I thought maybe that was a good sign.

            “Great,” I said cheerfully, not missing the way Phil’s grip on my hand tightened. I wanted to say something else, but I didn’t know of anything that wouldn’t come across as offensive, given the things I already knew. I could’ve said I’d heard good things about him, but nobody in the room would’ve believed me.

            Thankfully, Phil came to my rescue. With his free hand pressed to my hip, he said, “I’m going to show Dan the rest of the house. Send Dad up when he gets home.” He said the words with a smile that seemed forced, and his mum and brother nodded in response. Phil turned to me after that and I could see the tension in his eyes. Part of me wondered why he was going to so much trouble if it was this stressful for him.

            After a moment’s thought, I realized just how important I’d become to him in such a short span of time, and I felt my own cheeks flush for the first time that day when I suddenly thought of the idea that he might be feeling the same things I’d been feeling for the past month now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! I love you guys!


End file.
